


Old Ben

by SWModdy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Dimension Travel, Fix-It, M/M, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 08:13:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 32,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10382358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SWModdy/pseuds/SWModdy
Summary: When Ben gets cut through by Vader on the Death Star, he does not expect a new adventure. But that is what the Force grants him, a new chance to heal.





	1. Real it is?

Qui-Gon resisted the urge to reach out and grab his padawan by the shoulder.

Barely.

Instead he kept his eyes on the old man standing beside him, examining him as best he could. The man was fifty five, the same age as Qui-Gon himself but he looked closer to a hundred, especially with how he moved too.

Pure salt and pepper hair and beard was cut short and wrinkles lined the aged face in a manner that told of stress and pain, not laughter. That alone would tell Qui-Gon that this man had not lived a happy life. But more disturbing was the broken soul he could feel slumbering inside the man, a soul that he could faintly recognize.

This was a aged Obi-Wan Kenobi and once again Qui-Gon had to resist the urge to grab his twenty year hold padawan by the shoulder and hold him close.

Obi-Wan…Ben had appeared in a wave of Force, falling over in the temple garden in full confusion, looking around as if he wasn’t sure anything was real and perhaps to him it wasn’t. There was a broken madness to this older man, as if age and loneliness had taken much from him.

If it wasn’t for the muted aura in the Force, he wouldn’t believe that this man was the same as his padawan, only older by a scant thirty five years.

After confirming that the man was no danger to the temple, indeed he had only seemed lost and a bit confused, he had been taken to the healers and Qui-Gon swore he could still hear Vokara Che yelling echoing through the temple as she examined Ob-Ben.

Early onset of rheumatoid arthritis.

Sjogren’s syndrome which had lead to dryness of mouth and eyes.

Carpal tunnel syndrome.

Several infections in major organs and joints.

Malnutrition which had lead to anemia coupled with dehydration.

There was even a slight hitch of breath that told Qui-Gon that the other could no longer breath as deeply as he used to as a young man and the idea of the other being able to spar or do the more strenuous katas seemed far out of the question at least for now. Sith hells, Qui-Gon wasn’t exactly young anymore but so far his only issues were some aches and pains in his knees that came with being overly tall.

The healers would be keeping a close eye with his padawan for the future and by the speculative look in Healer Che’s eyes when they left, he was due for several tests the healer could expose him to and Qui-Gon would make sure he attended.

The man had been given fresh clothes, the ones he had were rough and worn down by age, several of them patched and close to falling apart and told to take as long a shower as he wanted before he’d be brought before the council. The older man had mulled over that and then done as told, tired resignation in his aura.

“Master Obi-Wan?” Qui-Gon shifted as Mace tried to get the other mans attention, frowning and glancing at Yoda when the man showed no sign of recognition to the name and continued staring out at the sunset of Corescant as if he hadn’t seen anything as fascinating as it ever.

Yoda sighed and tapped his cane lightly. “Master Ben?” He tried, his old voice kinder then when the other had appeared earlier that same day.

This time Ben reacted and looked at Yoda with a strange kind of bemused puzzlement. “Yes? I’m sorry, I was…come to think of it, I’m not sure what I was doing.” He smiled a bit and despite the wrinkles, Qui-Gon could see the dimples that came out each time the younger man beside him smiled.

This time he didn’t resist and grabbed Obi-Wan by the shoulder, pulling him a bit closer to him. Not that anyone seemed to blame him.

“Questions we have, but answers we do not think you’ll have. Obi-Wan Kenobi we know you are though older you are.” Yoda eyed him. “But not as old as you seem.”

“No…hmm, this is all very strange.” Ben mused.

“Strange Obi-Wan?” Shaak questioned, keeping her voice even and Ben shot her a look. “Well yes, this is the strangest kind of Force vision I’ve ever had.”

“A vision you think this is.”

Slow shoulders shrugged and the man glanced about again. “Well, if not then I must have lost my mind fully or I’m really in the council chambers next to my old master and a young version of myself…and that’s strange even by my standards.”

Yoda fingered his gimer stick. “And if real this is?”

Ben blinked slowly at him. “Then I don’t know.” He looked lost again and Qui-Gon squeezed Obi-Wan’s shoulder tightly, causing his padawan to shot him a worried smile.

Yoda jumped of his chair and moved to Ben, staring up at the human while the human stared back.

And then the green troll slammed his gimer stick into Ben’s legs.

“AH!” Ben almost toppled as everyone stared at Yoda in stunned surprise.

“Grandmaster!” Mace half stood.

“Feel that you did. Real this is. Know that you do.” Yoda ignored them as Ben wobbled a bit before bending painfully to rub his shin and Yoda prodded the man in the chest with his stick, gentling. “And in pain you are, Obi-Wan.”

“You did ju-”

“Soul pain. Shattered you are Obi-Wan. Pained you are. Touched by darkness though not dark yourself. Much has happened to you.” Yoda continued before reaching out and touching the other mans leg gently with his clawed hand, channeling healing energy to it in apology.

“Real this is Obi-Wan. Real you are. Here you are among friends. Perhaps put together again you can be.”


	2. It burned

“You can lean on my shoulder if you’re having trouble.” Qui-Gon offered, watching the man struggle to get down.

Ben shot him a look then took a deep breath and rested his hand on Qui-Gon’s shoulder, using it to slowly kneel down beside the other Jedi, wincing as his joints made a audible popping sound. Qui-Gon hid his own wince at the sound and smiled gently at Ben. “If it starts hurting to bad, tell me, I’ll help you up.”

The other master sighed then nodded. “Thank you Qui-Gon. I admit this is…difficult.” He looked around and then settled. “But its nice to be meditating outside for once and not worry about the sun burning me.”

“The healers told me you’re doing better. You’re breathing better at least.” Qui-Gon had been put in charge of Ben when he was outside of the healer wards, ensure that he ate, kept up on his medication and to ensure he tried to socialize.

“Fine bacta mist breathed in over several hours and healing crystals.” Ben breathed in the air of the gardens as he rested his hands in his lap. “It healed most of the scar tissue of my lungs and Vokara hopes long term affect will help the rheumatism, she’s moving me from the basic shii-cho to the lighter forms for katas.”

Qui-Gon nodded and pretended not to see the little group of padawans watching them, his own among them and what looked like Bant with her arms wrapped tightly around Obi-Wan. ‘Knowing who Ben is…she looks worried.’ Not that Qui-Gon couldn’t have been accused of the same. The amount of medical tests he had forced his padawan to attend…

He also pretended not to notice Ben’s attention suddenly wandering, the man finding a flower suddenly very interesting. While the medical healers were hopeful that they’d manage to improve Ben’s health, the mindhealers were less hopeful as to improve the others shattered soul.

It saddened Qui-Gon.

Sometimes Ben would have moments of awareness that hinted to the elegant and well-spoken man his padawan had grown to be even with the loss. Qui-Gon couldn’t help but wonder why the rest of the temple had left him to become like this, broken almost beyond repair.

No, it was best not to think like that. It was best to hope.

He smiled a bit when Ben put his head on the others shoulder, taking steady, deep breaths. It wasn’t often Ben engaged in physical touches and that was also one of several things the mindhealers encouraged as a way to get him to accept that everything was real.

“Its nice to be able to feel Jedi’s again, even if its just me pretending.” Ben offered almost lightly.

There it was again, that hint that Ob-Ben had been alone and seemingly for a long time, without another Jedi as company. Perhaps it wasn’t as much the temple leaving him to be broken as there being no one around to help him.

It had been a unkind thought anyhow, Jedi wouldn’t willfully leave their own to this.

Qui-Gon slowly slipped a arm around the others shoulders. “Indeed Ben?”

“Yes. Seventeen standard years are a long time, I may have gone properly insane.” The pepper and salt haired man beside him sounded as much intrigued as amused about the idea of his own sanity and Qui-Gon took a deep breath.

“Why were you alone though? Were you sent away?” He prodded gently, trying to get the other to open. Ben’s aura flooded instantly with darker emotions.

Regret, sadness, pain and bitter grief echoed.

“The temple burned and every light in the Force burned with it.” He whispered. “And I was sent after the cause of the fire that ravaged our home. My own padawan, who Fell so much further then ever Xanatos did.”

Qui-Gon noticed Plo and Shaak making their way towards them, obviously having heard the other speak. About their home burning and every light in the Force? Every Jedi?

Had Ben been truly alone

Their temple burned and the death of all Jedi?

“What happened then Ben?” Qui-Gon didn’t want to know, yet he asked.

“Mustafar. I followed him to Mustafar and I did something terrible.” Shame flooded the Force as much as the pain. “I gave ground and backed away and tried to talk to him. And yet he wouldn’t give and the fires burned so high and hot around us.” Ben stared at his hands, looking more lost then the day he appeared.

“I had the higher grounds I told him, I had the higher ground Anakin… I was standing on that banks and he told me not to underestimate him. He jumped and I…”

“You what Ben?” Shaak knelt down in front of him, taking Ben’s aged hands in hers while encouraging him.

Dazed green stared at her. “Mou kei. My own padawan and I…” He shuddered and closed his eyes, his shame and grief wrapping around himself like a cloak as he turned his face into Qui-Gon’s suddenly numb shoulder.

Mou Kei was a forbidden move, a act of dismemberment of several limbs at once and not to be utilized against living beings.

“Forgive me Anakin. I couldn’t kill you so I left you to torment instead.” Ben whispered thickly and Qui-Gon mentally shook himself before tightening his grasp around the mans shoulders, Shaak slowly rubbing Ben’s hands between her own.

Shaak meet his gaze and they both wondered the same thing.

What had driven Ben to this state first, the loss of the order, the loss of his own padawan by his own hand or the years of loneliness and isolation since.

Qui-Gon glanced across the yard and caught his padawan’s eyes before glancing down at Ben and back. 'I won’t leave you to this Obi-Wan. This will not be your future.’

The bond between them glowed in acknowledgment and worry.


	3. Another hand to help

“Padawan, do you know where Ben is? I checked his apartment and he wasn’t there and he’s due for another appointment with the healers.” Qui-Gon inwardly cursed quietly as Obi-Wan sat up on the couch and shook his head.

“No Master, have you tried his comm? Called the healers to see if he’s gone there himself?” Obi-Wan stood, leaving his homework to the side.

In response to the first question, Qui-Gon held up a comm in his hand. “He forgot it. And I called down to the wing to see, none of them have seen him.” He sighed quietly to himself. “I hope he remembered his boots at least.”

“Do you want me to help you look for him master?”

“No, no, you have navigational homework still left to do Obi-Wan, especially if we are going to leave for Mosterol in a week.”

“Are we still going then? Won’t Ben need us?” Obi-Wan had quickly come to separate his older self away from himself, treating him as a injured but respected elder.

“Mace said he’d be taking over for us while we are gone. And there are other Jedi’s in the temple.” Qui-Gon smiled gently at his padawan then patted him on the shoulder. “Now study, I’ll find him.”

He left the apartments and took a few moments to consider where the other man might have gone. If he was hungry there was the Commissary, a memorable occasion talking about having snake for a year made it clear that Ben was willing to eat what was served.

He checked it first, finding the droids making some food but no Ben. But one of the senior padawans had seen him in the flower gardens. With Knight Vos.

Qui-Gon gave a short bow in thanks before hurrying a bit.

Quinlan Vos could be a acquired taste for some. His caustic sarcastic personality could be a bit much and he felt a small stab of worry for Ben’s already fragile state of mind, hoping Vos would have paitence with the other man.

He stepped around a small group of knights and masters before blinking as he saw what they were looking at. ‘I guess I shouldn’t have worried…’ He smiled a bit.

Ben was talking to Vos, the younger had the older man by the hands, stroking his thumbs over the swollen wrists in a gentle motion. What caught Qui-Gon’s attention was the animated look on Ben’s face, the man obviously enjoying talking to the knight.

A spark. A connection.

Someone who wasn’t pitying him but talking to him like a equal yet keeping a gentleness required.

Excatly what Ben required. ‘Perhaps another person that may help him.’


	4. Not dead?

He’d been fine one moment, sitting calmly on Qui-Gon’s meditation mat while waiting on Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan to finish preparing tea, washed out green eyes peering out the open window as Quinlan carefully braided the groomed long hair while sitting behind him, the kiffar gently but effectively twining the shoulder length strands.

The mind healers had actually encouraged it, something different that was grounding Ben’s mind to the now instead of the future. Something that he hadn’t had in the future and long hair was simple yet always present for him to feel should he need a physical reminder and Qui-Gon had noticed that Ben didn’t fade out as much as he used to while in conversations.

Minor changes had helped him.

Of course, there were plenty of setbacks too.

Something outside had suddenly flashed in a sharp orange, almost red glow.

The Force was snapped full of sudden, jagged fear as Ben jerked away from Quinlan’s hands, scrambling to his feet as he reached for a lightsaber that didn’t hang on his belt anymore. The Force shifted to confusion and pain and Qui-Gon almost dropped the tea jar as he moved in front of the other man, taking him by the shoulders. “Ben. Ben easy, easy, its alright.” He reached out and brushed against the tattered shields the man had built up as those green confused eyes shifted between focus and whatever flashback he had been dragged back into.

Qui-Gon discreetly signalled for Obi-Wan to either fetch a councilor or a mind healer.

“Master?” Ben murmured in confusion before glancing down and reaching out, fingertips brushing the others lower tunics in a confused yet grief set expression. “I…what…”

“Talk to me Ben. What happened.” Qui-Gon soothed, rubbing the shorter mans shoulders gently as he took note of Quinlan standing by the mat still.

“You died? But not? I…” Ben looked like he was struggling, his mind going a thousand miles a parasec. Between where he was and where he had been.

Qui-Gon took Ben’s hands at that and raised one to his neck, letting the fingers find his pulse point. “Died?” He murmured, unsure if he wanted to know and if he should even ask. Judging by the low noise Vos made, he didn’t think it was smart either.

“…Naboo…” Ben’s callused fingers dug into his skin a bit as he stared at them, feeling a beating heart and flowing blood. “It hurt so much, the bond snapped.” He whispered and Qui-Gon felt a chill enter his bones, he hadn’t dissolved the bond between them which meant that Qui-Gon had died while Obi-Wan was still a padawan.

He stared at Ben, squeezing his hands gently.

“Maul…you ran ahead, I could never understand why.” Washed out green slowly filled with tears. “And then you were alone and I couldn’t reach you. Couldn’t help you. One little mistake and…” Ben’s voice hitched.

Qui-Gon heard his door hiss open again but couldn’t move his eyes from Ben’s. “And…?”

“Darth Maul slammed his lightstaff into your midsection. Smell of burning flesh. You gasping for air. I held you, you died. But you’re here. I can’t…” Ben’s breath came in shorter burst and Qui-Gon cursed himself before dragging the other man against his chest, holding him tight while murmuring soothingly under his breath.

Yet his mind remained working.

He had died.

For a lightstaff to the gut in front of his own padawan and had died in said padawan’s arms.

For a being named Darth Maul.

Darth.

Sith.

He looked up to meet Mace’s troubled eyes as the man moved to rest his hand gently at Ben’s temple, the first person Obi-Wan had found that could help.

The reappearance of the sith.


	5. Filling in the cracks

The front door swished open and Mace popped his head out from the fresher, smiling when he saw Ben standing there, properly dressed, wearing his boots and hair tied back. One of the man’s better days then.

“Ah Ben, good, just give me a moment here and I’ll come set tea. Perhaps you could find my teapot, its i-” He broke off as Ben’s washed out green eyes instantly flashed to the correct cupboard in Mace’s kitchenette, the older man moving with care to it and pulling out the correct teapot.

Mace blinked and then quickly finished before stepping out and to the kitchenette where Ben was now quietly watching the kettle boil slowly, two cups on small saucers standing ready and a quick check on the teapot showed the shaven pieces from the block of Haruun tea Mace preferred in it.

He slowly looked at Ben who was watching the kettle with a faint smile.

“…You’ve done this before. You’ve been here before.” Mace murmured and Ben looked to him in surprise before smiling steadily again.

“Yes. We are…were friends? In the future.”

“Are. Are friends.” Mace corrected gently, carefully placing his hand on the others shoulder, smiling a bit. “If I showed you where I keep the tea block then you’re still a friend.”

“Mmmn…have you started keeping Ryloth puffs yet?”

“Yes, two weeks ago. Depa introduced me to them.” Mace chuckled quietly, giving Ben’s braid a little tug before shifting to grab a plate and fill them with puffs. “Also…um…”

“Don’t tell Yoda where you keep the tea?”

Mace sniggered under his breath. “Yes.”


	6. The gentle touch

“Knock knock!” Quinlan called out cheerfully, balancing back and forth on his heels. “Rise and shine for a new day of my delightful company.” He grinned happily, ignoring the disapproval he could feel behind him from other Jedi’s.

There was a small shuffle and then the door opened, Ben standing there with a small smile on his face. “Quinlan, I did not know you were coming, if I had known I would have prepared breakfast for two.”

“You remembered to eat? And don’t worry, I already had breakfast.” Quinlan beamed as he stepped in, pausing when Ben stopped to think before nodding.

“…You sure?”

“Yes, yes I had fruits and oats. Simple but good. I was going to make tea, unless there was something important you wanted me to do?”

“No, nothing important just now. I just came to keep you company, I came back from my mission yesterday.” He sat down on Ben’s couch as the man moved to the kitchen. “And I could really like a cup of tea.” He waggled his eyebrows.

Ben chuckled quietly. “I have nothing stronger to add to it Quinlan. I’m not allowed alcohol yet or healer Che would have my head.” He carefully filled the pot with a bit more water before closing the tap and setting it to boil.

“Ah but you’re plenty strong for me Ben.” The kiffar beamed as a slight flush rose to Ben’s cheek and the older man shook his head, smiling at him. “Its not nice to tease a old man.”

“Old? I see no old man, only a viral man in his prime.” Quinlan bounced to his feet and moved to give Ben a light hug, smiling when the other instantly melted against him and dropped his head on Quinlan’s shoulder, soft white strands of hair tickling his chin.

“Hey, want me to braid this for you? I don’t mind you know.” The knight slowly ran a broad hand over the soft strands.

“That would be nice. I was going to do it myself but I haven’t gotten that far.” Ben hummed quietly and let Quinlan guide him to the couch to sit down, the kiffar quickly fetching both brush and a hair tie from the fresher.

The kiffar carefully worked out the few tangles that were and started braiding as they waited for the kettle to whistle, making sure not to braid to tightly and give the other a headache. “How about after tea, we head out to the gardens, you like the greenery I know, perhaps even ask if we could get some saplings for your room.”

Ben hummed quietly and Quinlan tied of the braid before getting up as the kettle whistled. “I’ll fetch the tea.” He gave a gentle squeeze to the others shoulder and left quickly to steep the tea and serve it.

He returned to find Ben watching the wall with a empty look in his eyes and sighed inwardly as he set his cup down on the coffee table before taking one of Ben’s callused hands into his own and pressing the cup into it. “Ben?”

“Mmmn? Oh! Tea, yes, splendid.” The man settled against Quinlan and held the cup between his hands, relaxing slowly as he started sipping the warm liquid. “Mmmn, sapir.”

Quinlan petted the others hair before taking a sip and grimacing, tea would never be his favorite.

“I like it better here.” Ben suddenly mused, snuggling more against the others side.

“Oh?”

“Mmmn, more friends, less sith.” Ben gave him a bland smile then took a new sip.

“Did you fight a lot of sith then?” That was frankly a horrifying thought. Fallen, darkened Jedi’s were bad enough when they attacked people, not to mention rogue Force users. But actual trained sith?

“Sith after Sith. I fought, I defended, I killed…and then I was the only one left.” Ben blinked slowly into his cup. “Only Jedi left…”

Quinlan swallowed before setting his cup down and wrapping his arm around Ben. “How about we take that walk to the garden. Fresh air would do us both good and I could use some fresh air that didn’t involve me being shot at.” He beamed warmly.

“What about the tea?” Ben blinked at him.

“There’s not a lot left, sip it up and then we can go.” Quinlan encouraged.

“Only because its you Quinlan, tea is suppose to be savored.” The older man rolled his eyes and took a bigger sip to empty his cup before setting it aside. The knight beamed and stood, offering his arm to the man. “Sire, if you’ll come with me, I’ll escort you to the gardens.” He added poshly, as if he was talking to a dignitary.

Ben laughed quietly. “Why young knight, you honor me.” He carefully got a hold of the arm and looped his into the corner of it once he was standing, curling himself into the younger mans side. “Well then…gardens.”

“Gardens.” Quinlan nodded happily.


	7. The little habits

It took Qui-Gon a while to notice. A embarrassingly long time honestly and it was Quinlan pointing out that Ben should take a warm shower instead of his usual sonics for his aching bones that finally clued Qui-Gon in as he took the startled look in Ben’s eyes.

Tatooine was a desert planet.

Ben had lived there for so long.

He waited for the rest to leave before taking Ben’s hands and rubbing them lightly between his. “Ben, you know that the temple has a large water reserve? You’re allowed to both shower and bath if you wish to, no need to ration water for drinking.” He talked softly as faded green focused on him.

“I…”

“There’s no water limit here. Else we wouldn’t have fountains. And aquatic Jedi species.” Qui-Gon smiled, lifting one hand to gently stroke underneath the wrinkles of one eye. His smile widened a bit when Ben instantly leaned into the hand, eyes closed as he enjoyed the touch.

Sweet was the word that popped up in Qui-Gon’s mind as he continued gently stroking the aged skin, Ben was sweet.

()()()()()

“I’m sorry but it seems the commissary is serving the same tuber mash and meat chunks again but at least the bread rolls are fresh.” Qui-Gon sighed as he came back with Obi-Wan to Ben and Quinlan, both setting down spare trays to the other two.

Quinlan grimaced but pulled his tray to him, peering at the chunks of meat floating in sauce for a few moments in sulky silence before shrugging and reaching for the salt.

“I don’t mind. At least its not snake. Spent a whole year only eating snake once.” Ben murmured as he pulled his own tray to him. “And scorpions. And some rather nasty worms that grew to about the length of my arm…” Ben stopped eating and mused on that. “…I honestly think they caused a slightly hallucinatory reaction.”

Obi-Wan stared at him in horror and looked to Qui-Gon. “Master, I really don’t want to eat worms.”

Quinlan looked torn between amusement and horror too. “You must have a stomach made of iron Ben.”

“Lets…just consider ourselves lucky we have this meal? No?” Qui-Gon shifted a bit closer to Ben as the other man ate peacefully, dipping his bread roll into the sauce and chewing away with a content smile.

()()()()()

“Are you sure he’s ready for a training session?” Qui-Gon crossed his arms over his chest, glancing at Vokara who snorted before sighing. “To be honest, no. But we really have no idea until he has actually tested his own joints. Sparring saber and a Initiate level set droid will have to do to figure this out.” She confided in Qui-Gon as Quinlan continued prowling around the mat with a small easy smile that hid his worry.

Bant and Obi-Wan and their friends were watching from the benches.

The healer squared her shoulders. “No time like the present you know to figure these things out. But I do advice he takes a bath after to soak his muscles and joints.” She gave him a meaningful look and Qui-Gon nodded, he’d make sure Ben took a bath since the man sometimes reverted back to saving water.

“Alright then…lets start up the droid then.” He breathed out as he against his better judgment turned it on. “Ready Ben?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” The man seemed amused by all the fussing they were doing even if Quinlan was being discreet about his. And he carefully started blocking the droids moves, the training saber set on low in case he ended up hurting himself.

“Ah, training he is? Better he has become?” They looked over as Yoda hobbled in with Shaak Ti behind him, moving to lean on his cane beside Qui-Gon and Vokara as the togruta nodded happily to them.

“Somewhat, if he can handle Initiate level training I might be able to up his physical therapy.” The healer huffed, crossing her arms over his chest.

Shaak spoke up after a few moments. “The droid has a saber too. But its getting more and more common for blasters to be used, he should be able to defend himself against a blaster shot if just for our comfort.” She suggested.

The change was instant the moment the droid fired at Ben.

Feet shifting backwards, hands coming up as he fell into starting pose of the Soresu, straining muscles screaming out as Ben’s eyes flashed brightly green as chaotic shields rose with the protective instincts of a mothering krayt dragon.

But Ben was old, Ben was slower and his body screamed in protest for his moves even as the first of a set of blast hit his shoulder and leg and the training saber tumbled from a numbed hand.

And the chaotic shields splintered like a wood for lightning and through those shields Ben’s memories rose like the cry of something dark and predatory.

The flash of a bomb as Ben, young and in his prime with a groomed beard, ran among soldiers dressed in white and orange, his face covered in blood giving him a gruesome mask as he swiped a shield of the ground. His shoulder smoking from a fresh blaster wound as he went crashing into a group of droids with a loud cry, no lightsaber at his belt.

“That’s it you ugly sons of scrapbolts! Here I am!” He called with a hoarse voice as fire focused on him.

Ben, brave Ben, who waved his hand behind him at two young padawans. “GO! I’ll handle this!” Two padawans no more then eleven or twelve, both sporting armor as they stared with wide frightened eyes.

“Y-Yes Master Kenobi!” They ran, as told, towards the men in white and orange as Ben kept his eyes on the droids, his teeth gritted, eyes glittering with fierce protectiveness. Ben who was all alone against to many droids with to many blasters, to far from his allies who were helping the padawans into a gunship.

“General Kenobi!” One cried out as Ben caught another blaster shot in his shoulder again, the armor smoking even as the man stumbled and bought the shield up.

“CODY GET THEM OUT OF HERE!”

The image flashed again as suddenly they were thrown out of Ben’s memories, the man himself swaying on his feet before he sunk to his knees, taking sharp jagged breaths before suddenly it was like he wasn’t there anymore.

Qui-Gon stumbled over to him and collapsed beside Ben, touching him with care as the older man flinched. “Ben. Ben look at me, quickly now look at me.” He coaxed the other, mentally reaching out to the all to familiar shields of Ben hiding himself. He ignored the sounds of someone being sick and continued talking until Ben opened his eyes once again, faded green looked at him yet past him.

“Ben, you’re safe. Ben you are in the temple. In one of the salles.” He rubbed the others upper arms while talking soothingly, trying to hold onto his own thoughts.

“…Temple?” Ben whispered.

“Yes, temple. With me. Can you see me Ben?”

“…Qui-Gon.” Ben whispered then swallowed and leaned forward. “…Everything hurts…”

“I know, I know. We pushed you to far. How about Quinlan helps you back to your quarters and makes you tea huh? I can find some of those fruit pastries you like so much?” He murmured, glancing at Quinlan who gave a firm nod then knelt down to touch Ben’s arm, smiling warmly at him when Ben looked at him.

“…Tea sounds good.” Ben nodded and let Quinlan help him up, supporting himself on the younger man’s arm who guided him past the others and out of the salle.

Only then did Qui-Gon sit down heavily and rub his face before staring at Yoda and the others.

Yoda looked like he had aged a year in just those moments. Shaak had a shaking hand over her mouth while Che was staring at the wall with her lips pressed together tightly, arms crossed over her chest and her lekku’s twitching.

He didn’t even dare look towards his padawan for what he might see.

This is what the future had brought Ben.

Their best sent into battles as generals for a war.

Their youngest padawans in armor to battle against droids alongside men who died for them to keep the padawans safe.

Qui-Gon closed his eyes, the image of Ben, of Obi-Wan’s blood covered face forever seared into the back of his eyelids.

‘No…this will not be the future…’ He opened his eyes to meet Yoda’s and then Che’s.

This would not be the future of the Jedi, even if they had to tear themselves from the Republic to prevent it.


	8. Softly emerging

The wooden box was deep purple with golden hand painted decorations covering it. It was no bigger then Ben’s fist as it was held out to him by Qui-Gon slightly trembling hand.

The box.

Something about it niggled at the back of his mind. A memory of a similar box he had seen on Qui-Gon’s home world when they had been sent there once so long ago that Ben could barely think of the memory.

A lady had given one to a man, though the box had been turquoise and golden. Who had reverently taken it from her and then kissed her.

What was it about that memory…he had asked his master why everyone had smiled after the man had accepted the tea box.

‘Its a courting tradition among my people padawan. She is requesting to court him and he’s accepted. The tea itself is rare and to be enjoyed on their future wedding day together, that’s why the box is so small.’ His master had smiled a bit wistfully before gesturing for Ben to follow, that they were late for their rendezvous.

Ben had always remembered the slightly wistful look on his master’s face though.

Slowly he looked from the box to Qui-Gon’s face, seeing the hopeful but slightly frightened look in the other mans eyes. He wondered what the other was thinking, wondered if the other was scared Ben didn’t remember what the box and the tea meant, scared Ben would say no perhaps.

Slowly he reached out and took the little wooden box from the other. “I accept this gift, Qui-Gon Jinn, in the essence its given in.” He murmured softly and Qui-Gon’s shoulders dropped in relief as he smiled giddily and reached out to cup Ben’s cheek in his large hand, stroking the crows feet at the other mans eyes with tender care.

“And I give this gift to you, Ben Kenobi, with the promise of a brighter future together.” He whispered before sweeping the man into his arms, trapping the box between their chest as he held on while pressing a tender kiss to Ben’s lips.

The kiss may have lasted longer if there wasn’t for Quinlan catcall. “Go Ben!”

Ben dropped his head to Qui-Gon’s collarbone, laughing quietly under his breath. “And now Qui-Gon?”

“Now? Now I ask if you have time for me to take you to dinner. I know a nice diner that serves some wonderful artisan cuisine.” Qui-Gon chuckled, his chest rumbling pleasantly under Ben’s ear.

“Dinner…dinner sounds nice.” Ben squeezed the purple and golden box against his chest, smiling against the others tunic.


	9. The man that is

Watching from a slightly elevated platform, faded green quickly spot the blond head as Shimi Skywalker steps of the shuttle after Depa with her in her arms, her large kind eyes looking around in awe at the temple.

But it was the awed blue eyes that caught Ben’s attention.

‘Oh Anakin…’ He couldn’t help the melancholic smile that crossed his face at the sight of the five year old that was clinging to his mother.

Older then normal yes but not to old. Not like last time.

The council had listened to him.

Had sent Depa to find Shimi on Tatooine.

And there they were. He had never meet Shimi but he could see where Qui-Gon had gotten the impression that she was kind. There was a quality of something gentle in her expression and very Force nature despite the harsh life she had lived.

But next to Anakin it got overwhelmed. More then one Jedi was stumbling in shock while Ben just stood there, taking in the familiar if younger essence of the boy he had raised to a man once.

“That’s him?” Qui-Gon stopped by Ben’s side, sliding a arm around the others waist with care.

“Yes. That’s my little nova. Or…was my little nova.” Ben shifted to lean against Qui-Gon’s taller and warmer sense. “…You abandoned me for him.” Ben whispered and the other man clung tightly to him at that. “What?”

“When we found him…he was nine, almost tent.” Ben whispered again, watching Depa lead the Skywalkers through the hanger. “And the council was…”

Qui-Gon closed his eyes at that. “I would have insisted he’d be trained with that kind of power. I found him…Force…you would have been twenty five…I would have been rushing your training if I did that.” He shifted Ben closer to him, feeling the other tuck his head on Qui-Gon’s shoulder.

“…I was so angry for so long. Because you died…died without us talking. Died and left me with all your responsibilities…but I won’t regret Anakin, he was…so good, my little nova. You may have found a different way had we had more time.” Ben murmured.

Qui-Gon tightened his arms on the other man then frowned. “You’re shivering.”

“I’m cold.”

“You forgot your robe.” Qui-Gon shifted out of his and slid it around Ben’s slimmer shoulders, stroking the braid over his shoulder and caressing the salt and pepper strands with care. “Its alright, you can use mine.”

“Its big.” Ben smiled up at him.

“I’m big so it has to match.” Qui-Gon grinned back before leaning down and pressing his forehead against Ben’s. “I don’t know what my future self was thinking. I don’t have the words to apologize Ben. But things are different now. And I’m the man that is. And I’ve gone several steps to mend the fences I didn’t know had broken down with Obi-Wan since you arrived.”

“Been a year and half, hasn’t it.” Ben mused, taking comfort in the large robes and somehow larger then life hands on him.

“Mhmm, two months since I started courting you.” Qui-Gon took Ben’s hand in his, guiding him out of the cold hanger. “Do you want to talk to them?”

Them of course being the Skywalkers.

“I don’t know…I never meet Shimi before. And Anakin…last time I saw him he wasn’t my Anakin.”

“Stands to reason he isn’t your Anakin now either.” Qui-Gon pointed out with care.

“True…he’s even younger then he was back then.” Ben smiled at that thought. “And him joining the temple should go smoother.” He leaned against Qui-Gon’s side. “If its the will of the Force that we meet, then we shall but for now…I’d love something to eat and then perhaps a trip to one of the meditation gardens.” He squeezed the others hand.

Qui-Gon grinned instantly and changed direction for the commissary. “Of course Ben.”

()()()()()

He felt the eyes on him as he sat by the little pond of the garden.

It would be impossible not to feel them

But Ben had always been attuned to those eyes and the power behind them, though untrained as they were now. He opened his eyes slowly to meet the blue eyes that were so familiar to him.

“…Hello youngling.” He smiled.

“Hello…you’re a Jedi, aren’t you?” Anakin Skywalker was bouncing shyly back and forth on his feet, hands tucked behind his back.

“Indeed I am. You’ve seen quite a few of them today.” Ben tilted his head and Anakin nodded, beaming. He was missing one of his front teeth and Ben felt his heart thump at the sight at his former padawan’s smile.

“Uhu. But you feel different.” Anakin shuffled then moved to sit beside Ben. “You feel…like when I fix droids.”

“Oh?” Ah, the innocence of a youngling with no filter. But Ben didn’t want to silence Anakin anyway, he did wonder why Anakin was in a meditation garden alone though.

Anakin scrunched his nose up. “Uhu, like parts are missing.”

“Hmm, you are a bit right there young one. I’m unfortunately a bit broken.” Ben chuckled softly at the boy then offered his hand to him. “My name is Ben Kenobi.”

“Anakin Skywalker, pleased to meet you!” Anakin grasped the big hand and beamed wildly at him.

'A new chance, a new life…’ Ben smiled softly. “Are you going to become a Initiate Anakin?”

“Uhu! The Jedi that bought us here said I’m very strong! She even bought mom along and mom’s suppose to start working for someone named Dex!” Ben closed his eyes at that, smiling a bit more. 'Qui-Gon you sly dog…’

Dex would take care of Shimi. Though how the other man had been able to convince Dex to hire her he was unsure since Dex preferred his droids.

“They even took care of the transmitters inside us.” Anakin continued, unaware of Ben falling into his own memories as he let Anakin’s excited voice wash over him.

“Anakin!” They both looked up as Shimi hurriedly walked towards them, looking both relieved and a tiny bit angry.

“Mom! I found a new friend!” Anakin beamed then shuffled when he took note of her anger. “Uhoh…”

“I’m glad you found a friend Anakin but you weren’t suppose to wander of like that.” Shimi held out her hand to him and took the child’s hand firmly before turning apologetic eyes to Ben. “I’m sorry if he’s been a bother Master Jedi. We were having a tour and when I turned around he was…well. Apologies.”

“Don’t apologize. He’s a energetic breath of fresh air.” Ben smiled, his smile turning wider when Qui-Gon slipped into the garden and came over. He accepted the offered arm and was slowly helped up by the other Jedi, his knee making a loud snapping sound as he did. “Mmmn…”

“Are you alright Ben?” Qui-Gon frowned then smiled at Shimi, bowing his head a bit while letting Ben lean on him. “Greetings Lady Skywalker.”

Shimi looked between the two Jedi’s, taking in the way Ben was obviously leaning on Qui-Gon for support and Qui-Gon’s unsurprised face at it. “I wasn’t aware I was known here.” She offered softly.

“Not so much, but Shaak Ti told us via coms that your little one had escaped during a tour. I can call her to the garden if you wish?” He shifted his arm around Ben’s waist once the man was up.

“Oh, would you? She was showing us around but Anakin…” She sighed.

“Children are curious. He’s a fresh breath of air Lady Skywalker and he means no harm. He’s to become a Initiate I hear?” Qui-Gon pulled his com of his belt.

“Yes. He’s…he’s a little miracle. He’s strong too the healers here said.” Shimi smiled down at her son and squeezed his hand slowly. “He’s going to be a wonderful Jedi.”

Qui-Gon smiled warmly at that. “I’m sure he will.” He called Shaak up to inform here where both Shimi and Anakin was, taking note of how Ben’s head was sinking onto his arm. 'Tired Ben?’

'Very. I think the day has been long for me, with chores, training, therapy, healers and this.’

'Don’t worry. I’ll get you to your quarters and we can have tea. It will be alright.’ Qui-Gon assured.

Ben opened his eyes to look down at Anakin Skywalker, a soft smile crossing his face. 'You know what Qui-Gon…I think it will be.’


	10. A step back

“He’s not in the commissary, the guards didn’t see him leave the temple and he hasn’t gone into the archives.” Mace had commed every last one of the guards to ask for status and reports and even asked Jocasta if she had seen him.

But Ben was gone, as if sunk into the earth.

Qui-Gon rubbed his forehead. “He felt strange this morning, I didn’t take to much notice of it honestly with his occasional mood switches but…” He felt guilty, something had been going on obviously but he figured if Ben had wanted to talk to him about it, the other would.

Yet here they were, Ben no where to be found though he hadn’t left the temple.

“I checked out all the salles, asked the padawans and the healers, none of them have seen him either.” Quinlan joined them, his usually grinning face set in one large frown.

“And he wasn’t in my quarters, his quarters or any of yours. Or Yoda’s.” Qui-Gon ran his fingers through his hair in agitation. “Obi-Wan has not seen him either and he’s down checking the cre-no he’s not there either.”

“Room of a thousand fountains?” Mace suggested.

“No, I asked padawans Bant, Garen and Reef to check there. None of them have checked in with me so not there.” Quinlan countered.

“Where has that man gone…” If Ben still wasn’t so unstable, he would have suggested a pair bond just for the closeness it would have brought. But with his shields still so tattered it would be hard on Ben’s mind to accept a Force bond still.

“You’d think he’d be better, remember to…to inform us where he’s going. Its closing in on two years now.” Qui-Gon sighed.

“Hey…” Quinlan frowned at him and Qui-Gon waved his hands. “I’m not blaming him, I’m worried that’s all. I guess…I was starting to think the healers were closing in on proper treatment.”

“He’s a lot better then he was. He can manage to keep up in a conversation even if he loses it now and then and his short term memory is shoddy. But he’s still there now, he doesn’t just slip through the cracks.” The kiffar countered.

“What is more important right now is to find him.” Mace stepped in, waving his hands. “Its at least five hours since someone saw him last, he has medicine he has not taken, its doubtful he has eaten and if he’s had something to drink in that time, I’m a bantha’s uncle.”

Qui-Gon closed his eyes at that and took a deep breath. “He’s right. Where have we NOT looked?”

“Well…the hangers but there’s always people there…”

“The lower bowels of the temple.” Mace offered up after a few moments, frowning hard. “No one goes there, there hasn’t been reason to…would Ben know how to get there even?”

“…He might.” Qui-Gon started walking quickly. “I’ll check.”

“I’m coming with you, Quinlan, go and fetch his medicine in case we find Ben.”

The Kiffar nodded unhappily but went to fetch the medicine.

Mace stepped into the elevator with Qui-Gon and used his councilor clearance to get access to the lower levels. “If he did go down there he’d have to use the stairs Qui-Gon…”

“I know. Lets hope he hasn’t gone down there and the padawans finds him in the gardens.” Qui-Gon murmured.

A hope in vain. Not far from the elevator there was a door ajar and soft trails of someone walking recently, the brush of a robe stirring up the ancient dust. Mace pulled his lightsaber and activated it as a light source, nodding to Qui-Gon to go first.

He tracked the disturbed dust until they went into a larger room, for what purpose Qui-Gon could only guess and at any other time it may be fascinating but at the moment all that mattered was the huddled form sitting against a pillar, staring into the dark.

Qui-Gon’s first instinct was anger then just sadness as he latched onto the emotions Ben was spewing into the Force.

“Oh Ben.” He moved to the other and knelt down in front of him, taking cold hands. “Ben what are you doing down here, how did you even get down here?” He whispered, his voice echoing despite the quietness of his words. Mace held the lightsaber a bit higher for more light as he watched quietly but Qui-Gon could feel the others relief at finding Ben.

Faded green continued staring into the dark and Qui-Gon shot Mace a quick look before rubbing those cold hands steadily. “Ben?”

“…Its Empire day.” Ben whispered back.

Empire, what had taken over for the Republic. Empire day…

“I lost everything. I lost everyone. I hurt my own padawan. Empire day.” Ben hands slowly squeezed down on Qui-Gon’s hot hands, trembling as he did. “Empire day…when so many lights went out and darkness encroached on everyone like a stalking nexus. The Emperor rose and my padawan knelt for him and swore fealty to a Sith.” Ben’s voice hitched.

“Oh Ben…you came down here to hide…” Qui-Gon shifted closer on his knees and pulled the other man into his lap, holding the dust covered cold man to his chest. “Ben you can’t be down here though, for one its not good for your for bones.” He pressed a kiss to the others temple and looked up at Mace to see him frowning towards one of the halls. “Mace?”

“…There’s something dark down here. I can feel it…can you?” The Korun murmured.

The other master blinked then slowly stood, pulling Ben up and holding him against his chest as he peered towards the dark hall. He narrowed his eyes as felt a whisper against his mind. “I…yes. Yes I can. What is that?”

Against his chest Ben shifted, shuddering. “Sith…” He whispered.

Mace head snapped to Ben, staring at him before taking a deep breath. “Alright, I’ll bring a team down here to examine this later. But for now we need to get him to his or your quarters Qui-Gon. He needs his medicines and I think he needs warm tea.”

Qui-Gon nodded and slid his own robes of and wrapped them around Ben before outright picking him up with a bit of Force enhanced strength. “Lets go Ben.”

The salt and pepper haired master made a low noise then dropped his face into the others shoulder. “Ow…” He whispered.

“I’m sorry Ben. Did I hurt you?” Qui-Gon murmured.

“No? Yes? Stairs…”

Mace and Qui-Gon traded looks. “He’s going to need rest time tomorrow. I’ll talk with Healer Che so she knows he’s been found and what to expect.”

“Good, thank you. Lets get back to the elevator.” Qui-Gon glanced backward at the dark feeling then started moving, Ben more important at that moment. Beside, Mace was going to get a team on it, more then likely more knowledgeable Archivists and perhaps Yoda himself.


	11. A little broken but calm

Quinlan murmured softly while pressing the glass of water into Ben’s shaking hand, making sure the older man took the pills and didn’t spill water all over himself before settling beside him and tugging the white haired head to his shoulder, petting slowly while Qui-Gon got the bath ready for a long soak.

He ignored Obi-Wan and Bant as he did and pretended not to notice Garen and Reeft watching from the kitchen as they were unpacking and preparing some of the approved snacks Ben was allowed.

Eventually Ben’s shaking subsided to everyone’s relief though Quinlan took note of the still cold hands as he rubbed them steadily. “Do you think you can eat some Ben before Qui-Gon takes you to the fresher?” He questioned quietly, smiling when Ben nodded against his shoulder. “Oh good because padawans Reeft and Garen are fetching snacks from the kitchen, sliced fruits and blue yogurt.”

“…Honey yogurt?” Ben murmured hopefully.

Well it was good to know that Obi-Wan’s sweet tooth lasted until he got old Quinlan thought in amusement before nodding. “Honey yogurt.”

He made sure Ben ate half before Qui-Gon took him away for the bath, the healing man still moving slower then he had in months.

“…You really are friends with him.” Quinlan looked at the curious looking Dressellian. “I wasn’t sure if you were just taking care of him or something but you’re friends.”

“Well yes. I like Ben.” Quinlan shrugged.

“Why? I mean I know he’s…” Reeft hesitated then glanced at Obi-Wan who raised an eyebrow back at him. “Well yeah but Ben’s not the same. And he’s kind of…”

“Broken?” The Kiffar shrugged. “I know. But I like him. He’s familiar of course.” He nodded to Obi-Wan who shrugged back. “But…I don’t get the same feeling when I’m around Obi-Wan.”

Now the copper haired man perked up. “Feel?”

“When I’m around him…I feel warm.” Quinlan rubbed the back of his neck. “Calm. There’s a sensation in the air around him that settles every thought in my mind and makes me feel…good.” Quinlan shrugged a bit. “I don’t rightly know how to describe it. I tried to with Master Tholme. He didn’t get it until he spent time around Ben.”

Bant mulled over that before speaking up. “He feels safe to you, doesn’t he. Like nothing can harm you if you stick around him despite him being frail.”

That made Quinlan blink. “I guess? Not sure I would have put it like that but perhaps. It feels like coming home after a long mission. Only its every time I get close to him. And he’s funny, has stories when he’s clear enough and…yeah I guess you’re right. He makes me feel safe.”

Quinlan looked faintly puzzled by that, sitting back on the couch before grinning at the padawans. “You know what? I don’t mind that.”

“Heh. Good for you then.”


	12. A brighter future

“Hrmm, dark it is.” Yoda agreed, standing with Mace and Depa as two younger knights continued examining the door for any way to get through. “Any progress to be made?”

“None so far.” Mace frowned darkly, feeling the darkness behind the door battering against his shields. “Is this why the Force on Coruscant has been foggy for so long?” Yoda tapped his cane on the dusty floor as the knights stepped back, having made no progress. “Possible that is. Someone we could ask.”

“…Qui-Gon’s not going to like it. He is still not well from his trip down the stairs.”

“Only one who might know what to do he is.”

“Fine, you’re the one explaining to Qui-Gon.”

()()()()

Qui-Gon was frowning thunderously as he followed them with Ben supporting himself on the other mans arm, unhappy with the development.

He hadn’t wanted Ben to come back down at all and would have held on his if it wasn’t for Ben turning those faded green eyes on him and told him that it would be better for the Jedi’s future if Ben did. Qui-Gon didn’t have to like it though.

Ben winced when they stepped into the hallway both Mace and Qui-Gon had identified as dark.

“This…” Ben let go and stepped forward, ignoring Yoda and the two knights as he closed in on the door, staring at it. “This is sith magic.” He finally whispered, his voice echoing in the hall. He placed his hand on the door. “I know this. I’ve seen this before.” Ben kept his back to them.

And then something cold slithered through Qui-Gon’s frame at Ben’s next words.

“Tsis Asha.” The door lit up in blood red glowing text, unknown letters appearing all over it as Ben stood there in front of it before it slowly opened up to a concentrated darkness flooding and overpowering everyone but Ben, bringing the others to their knees.

“B-Ben?” Qui-Gon panted out.

“Sith doors and sith words, even spoken by a Jedi they work on sith doors, Sith victory.” The man whispered. “They didn’t remove it all. The Jedi who built the temple didn’t remove it all.” Ben stared into the darkness. “This is a shrine. A sith shrine underneath the temple of the Jedi, ancient. I’ve been to one before.”

Yoda managed to get to his feet and stumbled to Ben’s side while leaning on his cane. “To do we must?”

Ben looked to him slowly and from his spot on the floor Qui-Gon could see a sharpness in those eyes in the light from the set up spotlights. “Do? Impossible to remove it now. Purified it has to be.” Ben looked back to the darkness before stepping through the door and into the shrine.

“BEN!”

The darkness swallowed him and let go of the other Jedi finally as Qui-Gon lunged to his feet, Beside him Mace did the same as the two knights collapsed further onto the floor. The door closed on its own, locking Ben inside the shrine even as Qui-Gon smacked into it, pounding his fist against it. “No…”

()()()

Ben looked around the dimly lit room, ignoring the statue on the alter with practiced ease. It was very basic, he imagined when the temple was built it was easily overlooked, not yet gathering enough power to be felt like a threat.

“I must admit myself impressed.” He finally offered before approaching the alter. “Most Sith have sarcophagus. You had your body hidden inside an alter of a shrine with a statue to show you.”

On the podium of the shrine a black shape formed, staring at Ben with reddened eyes staring out from under the hood. It looked like a female twi’lek. “Jidai.”

“Tsis.” Ben greeted in return.

She cackled at being greeted in her own language. “A Jedi who knows Old Tongue. Intriguing.” She started to circle him, floating around him. “A broken Jedi even. A time traveling one. That is meddling of the highest degree.”

“It would be if I had done it on purpose.” Ben agreed. “But I didn’t. My student cut me down and here I arrived.”

“Jedi’s don’t cut each other down.” She settled in front of him.

“Sith do. My padawan…swore fealty to a Sith.” Ben throat constricted as he thought of his padawan, his Anakin.

She made a low noise while staring at him. “Why are you here broken Jidai?”

“Because this is now a Jedi temple. And your presence is not welcome anymore.”

She instantly snarled at him and reached out with her hand to smack him. It swiped harmlessly through him like smoke and Ben blinked. “…You are dead. You have no effect on the living.”

“No. I refuse to leave.” She hissed. “I refuse to be forgotten.”

“And if I could promise you that you wouldn’t be forgotten?” Ben watched her.

The Sith instantly stilled, red eyes staring at him from under that hood.

“I could bring your statue out from here and into the light. If you give me a name, I could search the holocrons for it and find your story and have your statue examined as part of history. You wouldn’t be forgotten.” Ben slid his hands into his sleeves, hiding the shaking. He was so tired.

“Broken Jidai, why would you do this?” She growled darkly.

“Because I know what its like to be alone and forgotten.” Ben answered simply.

“And what would you have of me in return for this…act.”

“You leave. You fade into the Force and become one with it of your own free will. Let it set you free.” Ben appealed to the old Sith code he had studied after Anakin’s fall.

“Free…” She looked back to the statue and then to Ben. “A Jidai helping a Sith…times really have changed.”

“Everyone deserves a chance. Will you go?” Ben didn’t want to force her, was unsure if he could manage it.

Glowing eyes focused on him.

“…My name is Darth Kleendi. I was the scourge of my master, her weapon wielded until the day I died from betrayal of our allies. My master hid me here, for she loved me despite everything. And I…loved her. Find me in your holocrons and share my story and my fate.” Darth Kleendi slowly faded away and Ben breathed out as the glow around the room started to fade with her.

And then he was plunged into darkness.

For one dizzying moment he wondered if he could get out of there before he heard the grinding of the door opening slowly to let the light into the shrine.

“Ben!” And then Qui-Gon was there, his arms around Ben, a hand on the wrinkled cheek as faded green looked up into worried blue. “Ben are you alright?”

Ben smiled. Yes he could understand love for a master.

“Qui-Gon…my Qui-Gon. I’m fine.” He snuggled into the embrace as he felt lighter then he had in years.

The darkness would linger for weeks and perhaps even years to come.

But it would fade. Slowly and steadily.

The temple would breath more easily.


	13. Yoda just wants cake

“Master.”

“Apprentice.” The holo flickered as Darth Plagueis observed his apprentice. “A disturbance I have felt on Corucant.”

“Yes Master.” Palpatine took a deep breath, dreading what he was about to tell the Muun. Hego Damask rage could be terrible and often taken out on those he thought to be responsible. “The darkness on Coruscant seems to be deserting the Jedi temple, as if its been…cleansed.”

“Yes. I can feel it. The darkness inside the temple is evaporating. Changing. The Force feels lighter then it has in years.” The Muun could see his own plans unraveling before they had even begun.

“Master, the changes seemed to start happening two years ago, when the Force cried out last time.” Palpatine ventured and Plagueis nodded in agreement. “Yes apprentice, and I believe it has to do with the broken Jedi.” The man hissed out.

The broken Jedi, the Jedi with the faded green eyes and broken Force spirit who went by the name Ben Kenobi. Palpatine had only seen him in the flesh once and had dismissed him as a threat. But now…

“What is your wish Master?”

“Bring me him. We need answers or at the very least to eliminate a threat we failed to see.” Plageueis stared at him. “Do not fail me Sidious. We do not have the luxury of the Jedi finding us out, not yet.” The hologram died out, leaving Sidious in the dark of his office.

“I will not fail.”

()()()()()()

Qui-Gon chocked on his tea, coughing harshly while Mace pounded on his back. “W-What!?” He coughed at Yoda.

“A mission for Ben we have.” Yoda offered rather cheerfully, still sipping his own and pretending not to see the outraged expression blooming on Qui-Gon’s face.

“I know he is much healthier but I highly doubt Ben is ready for a straining mission yet. Especially not after the Sith shrine.” He growled.

Mace hid a smirk in his own teacup.

“Assigned a mission partner he will be.” Yoda continued. “Two years and two months since he arrived, Healer Che confirm his health. Physically Ben is able.”

“Its the mentally I question. He sometimes looses himself in the middle of conversations still.” The long haired master sat up, setting his cup down so he could have a more even ground with his grandmaster. “There is a high risk he could do that in the field.”

“Trust him you should.” Yoda countered and Qui-Gon looked away. “Its not that I don’t trust him but…I don’t trust the rest of the galaxy with him. He’s…had enough pain.” He sighed, could you blame him for wanting to wrap Ben up in a blanket and just hold him forever. “Do you blame me for wanting to shield him?”

“No. But perhaps you should hear where the mission is?” Mace raised his eyebrow.

Qui-Gon sighed. “…Fine, where?”

“Colate-Fu.” Yoda smirked at him.

“…The…the spa moon?” Qui-Gon blinked. It was considered a tourist destination, a highly popular one too for people with expensive taste.

“Good for him the healer says it will be.” The cunning green troll offered peacefully. “Courting him for several months you have now.” He continued.

Qui-Gon stared at him before slowly smiling. “I’m his mission partner.”

“There’s a trade dispute on Colate-Fu. The mission is of course official but…no one said you two had to come back the moment you were done.” Mace smirked at his old friend. “Unofficially, this is the Council’s bonding present to you two.”

“Bit early.” Qui-Gon chuckled, suddenly feeling a lot more relaxed.

“Only because this was a perfect opportunity honestly. We would have waited for the actual cermony but you know how hard it is to get away sometimes.” Mace shrugged.

“Bonding will happen when?” Yoda butted in.

“W-Well I’m not sure. I mean…”

“You’ve been courting him for half a year.” Mace raised an eyebrow.

“…I don’t want to push him. If his shields were stronger I may suggest a bonding ceremony now honestly.” Qui-Gon sighed, setting his cup away and leaning his elbows on his thighs with his hands stapled under his chin.

“A bonding ceremony may strengthen them.”

“Or be the thing that tears apart all the progress that’s been made. I know I’m prone to bantha rushing people.” Qui-Gon sighed again.

“Qui-Gon, you’re stubborn and sometimes you steamroll people yes. But you’d never hurt Ben.”

“Not on purpose.”

“Worried you are that you hurt him will?”

“You’re not?”

“After the way you behave around him. No. You’d defend him with your last breath.” Mace shrugged. “I’m honestly more worried what would happen if someone hurt him in front of you but I trust you to keep onto your light.”

Qui-Gon mulled over that before looking at them both. “…So…I should…bond?”

“Pair bond for now perhaps. Full on bondmate ritual can come when you two get home.”

“Big celebration it will be!” Yoda cackled.

“You just want cake.”

“Yes. Delicious cake for old masters.”


	14. Someone who listens

“Are you cold?” Obi-Wan set down the ceramic tea set with care, watching the faint shiver pass through Ben’s shoulders as he did.

“Chilly. I got used to living on a desert planet with two suns.” Ben offered his younger version with a small smile and then chuckled quietly when the other instantly brought the throw blanket of the back of the couch and over Ben’s lap. “You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to. Quinlan’s not the only one soothed by you.” Obi-Wan shrugged then offered the other man a full cup of tea.

“Yes I heard about that. I seem to have that effect on dark side users though that may be because they don’t make me nervous.” Ben mused quietly into the dark amber tea.

“Oh?”

“I got used to both darkened and grey Jedi’s. And sometimes even the Fallen were allies. I had to put aside my own prejudice in the face of it or risk betrayal instantly. And sometimes those who fall only need someone who will listen.” Ben weathered face turned a smile to Obi-Wan.

The younger man mused on that before sitting down and taking his own cup. “I guess you had a lot of experience.”

“Indeed, the future turned rather dark. But…things may be different now. It should be different.” Ben stared at the window. “There’s a difference between darkness and chaos. Dark is a shade, a shadow. Chaos is pain, some sith embrace that part, the part where death, pain and destruction is a way of life, like a swarm of locus passing through a crop.”

Obi-Wan watched the older man as he talked.

“But dark does not mean evil. Its a shade, a difference. It shouldn’t be eradicated simply for existing unless it goes against civility, against peace, against justice.”

That got a harsh blink out of the younger man. “You’re talking about…you’re talking about a Schisme.”

“Am I?” Faded green focused on him over the rim of the cup. “Hmm, peculiar. I’m only talking about change.” There was a clever light in those eyes, something cunning that Obi-Wan had never noticed before but he didn’t think was new at all.

Obi-Wan looked away, frowning ever so slightly. “If…If we changed, would that be better?”

“I don’t know. I’d like to know.” Ben sipped slowly. “My order didn’t change. And then it died and left me alone.”

A shiver passed through Obi-Wan’s frame at that. About his potential future.

“Do you know what the common man on Coruscant thinks of us Obi-Wan? The mechanic, the trader, the traveler?” Ben suddenly asked.

“I…no?”

“They think of us as a mystic order of powerful beings with no emotions who serve as the Republic dogs. As baby stealers who take peoples children without mercy. As meddlers. We scare the common man and woman.” Ben took a slow sip.

“I-but…we aren’t…” Obi-Wan sputtered.

“I know. But they don’t. They see us catch people, they see us walk away with children who are not more then babes at times, they see us lift things with you minds and they see our lightsabers. They are scared of us. We have to change somehow, or our future will be uncertain. The sith will exploit the peoples perception of us.” Ben whispered with a certain clarity.

Obi-Wan looked down into his cup, if this was how the common on Coruscant thought of them, what did that mean for the worlds and planets out there where Jedi rarely reached?

“On Tatooine I learned that slaves whisper our names with reverence and masters with revilement. The slaves long for the chance of freedom and the masters mourn the loss of profit. That hope silenced with the orders end. I…I can’t go through that again…” Ben stared at the window. “I barely survived it the first time. I am not a young man anymore.”

Obi-Wan looked at him. “Then…what do we do?”

“Do?” Ben looked so lost suddenly. Like the cog of a mechanical apparatus that had gone missing.

“Yes. What do we do?” Obi-Wan wondered if Ben even knew.

Ben blinked down into his cup before peering at Obi-Wan. “Change starts with the young. Perhaps you should speak to your friends about what I have shared?” He smiled sadly.

Obi-Wan blinked at that then slowly nodded. “You think that will help?”

“It can’t hurt. Change starts with the young…” Ben let the rays of the fading sun cross his face and closed his eyes to enjoy it. “…Let darkness fade and be a shade. Let it live between dusk and twilight. Embrace that which is different.”

Obi-Wan and Ben descended into silence together until the sun was gone.

“Let change come.”


	15. Still a general

It had started to so well, the trade dispute had been a minor inconvenience at most, easily solved and hadn’t necessarily needed a Jedi at all, especially not two masters.

They had been given nice rooms, they had enjoyed the sun and the offered facilities. Ben had gotten a full body massage, moving more easily after it and a long soak in a hot tub. There had been something in his eyes that had reminded Qui-Gon of awe and wonder and something still so broken that was slowly mending with the pampering. Ben had even been making friends, a group of security Mando’a who had been hired by traveling royalties.

Qui-Gon had enjoyed that, had enjoyed the light that was starting to shine in the mans eyes as they enjoyed Colate-Fu together.

He hadn’t anticipated the danger until it was to late, the dart arrow digging deep into his neck tissue and promptly sealing away the Force and numbing his body as he fell in the market. Yet Ben had dodged it smoothly, twirling around towards where the attack had come from.

Qui-Gon fell to his knees in waning strength as he struggled to function, blue eyes seeing the darkened figures standing on several roof tops.

“…Dusk riders.” Ben squinted at them with his faded eyes. A glow appeared in those eyes as Qui-Gon struggled to keep conscious.

“Jedi! If you come peacefully, we may consider leaving Colate-Fu’s market intact.” A loud and grating voice called.

“Ben…” Qui-Gon whispered only to be ignored as several vendors and customers were doing their best to get out of the way and hide.

“I know who you are and I know what you are. You are Dusk Riders. You only leave behind destruction and death. Even if we surrender you will kill those you find.” Ben’s voice was calm, calculating and when Qui-Gon looked again, he could see the tactician hiding behind the broken man.

Ben shifted, one foot drawing back while bending his knees. “You will not find your prey among these people.” He settled on then summoned Qui-Gon’s lightsaber of the mans belt while pulling his own, activating both as he settled into the first pose Jar’Kai.

“A pity. I guess that means we get to hurt you before we bring you in old man.” There was a cackle and then several blaster shots.

Ben stood still for a second and then he moved.

All blasts were redirected back to their source, some hitting targets and others ending up in the atmosphere. Civilians scattered with cries and Qui-Gon cursed himself for his lack of attention as he managed to settle against a booth’s wall.

And then he could do nothing but watch Ben move with a suppleness he did not know the man possessed, a predatory grace as he moved ever closer, the lightsabers a blur of light in his hands. If there was ever any doubt about Ben’s skills as a Jedi or Qui-Gon’s attraction to said man, they suddenly evaporated like ice in desert sun.

Ben was a hurricane of calculated motions, leaving no stray casualty of civilians behind, moving with a single minded determination. No, his enemies were learning not to underestimate this old man.

Ben twirled as a shot came from behind and stood with one blade in each hand as he was caught in a pincer move, faded green taking in the two behind him in the marked and the four in front of him, trying to identify which were the bigger threats while not leaving his back exposed.

And then the two were promptly gunned down by the mando’s Ben had been making friends with only days earlier.

“Looked like you Jetii could use some help.” The leader grinned fiercely, blinking her narrow eyes at Ben.

“That would be appreciated.” Ben offered back in a calm voice. “Secure the perimeter, make sure there are no more of these and offer security to the civilians.” His voice was one of someone who was used to being obeyed.

And in a flash Qui-Gon knew who he had with to do.

General Kenobi.

The man who had ran battlefields of men in white armors.

This was not just Master Kenobi, this was the General who had lead armies and ships into war and fought for almost everyday of three years. Who had experienced losses and cut supply lines of his enemies, the man who had given relief effort to refugees and rescued civilians from war torn planets.

Not the lost man who had arrived so long ago now.

The Mando’a captain blinked before grinning. “Yes sir!”

Ben breathed out and then raised the lightsabers again, a battle light a glow in his eyes.


	16. The words that can break me

Qui-Gon slowly rubbed his hand through the others unbraided hair, letting his Force healing sink into the other in an attempt to sooth the pain he could feel even through the painkillers the spa healers had given Ben.

Ben had fought well, he had kept the mando’a security team on civilian protection detail and he had taken most of the Dusk Riders alive even, to be taken away by the security corps and questioned.

And then he had promptly collapsed, his strained body taking the toll until he could no longer move on wards. Happily by then Qui-Gon could and had taken over while Ben rested and was seen to by the healers.

He had taken his duty as Jedi first and then his love for Ben second though he had disliked it. But Ben had been in good hands until a transport home could be arranged.

When it had been clear that no others then the ones already on would enter the shuttle back to Coruscant, he had gently coaxed Ben to lay down on the seats with his head in Qui-Gon’s lap, letting him rest, both their robes covering his frame.

Still he could see the other man shivering, a mix of pain and coldness.

“I meet you in the dark…” Qui-Gon sang softly, resting his free hand on Ben’s shoulder while rubbing slowly. “You lit me up, you made me feel as if I was enough…” He continued softly singing to Ben, feeling the other man shift to peek up at him with those faded green of his.

Ben was smiling at him.

And Qui-Gon didn’t think he’d ever seen someone as beautiful as Ben at that moment. Conventionally Ben may not be pretty, old, worn and wrinkled as he was. But Ben’s light was more then Qui-Gon would ever need and he reached out through those tattered shields with a questioning touch that was instantly returned with a soft tenderness and acceptance, a pair bond seamlessly connecting as if only waiting for them to take the steps.

()()()()()  
“Attacked you both were?” Yoda’s ears were twitching hard, frowning at them as Ben leaned into Qui-Gon’s side, faint trembling going through his legs as he struggled to remain upright.

“Yes but I wasn’t their primary target. Ben was.” Qui-Gon shifted his arm to keep Ben up. “They did however incapacitate me, Force suppressor and a heavy dose of it, it numbed me down to reduce movement and I struggled to purge it from my body.”

“Did the local security protect you then?” Mace questioned, leaning forward with a small frown.

“No. Ben did.” Qui-Gon squeezed the others waist carefully. “He…used both my own lightsaber and his own.” There was an unsaid ‘and that’s why he’s like this now.’ in his words that the council members caught on.

Obi-Wan however was staring at Ben in awe.

It took Qui-Gon a few moments to realize why. Ben was Obi-Wan’s future and so far all Ben had seemed like was a broken if wise man. To know that Ben could fight, could fight several at once even like this and lead was doing wonders for the younger versions confidence.

‘Yes Obi-Wan, you became something great, you can still become great.’ Qui-Gon sent along their bond. Ben’s appearance had changed several things, one of them were how Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan interacted.

There was more…familiarity with it.

There had been trust for a long time despite what they had done to each other, the way Qui-Gon had treated his young padawan. But Qui-Gon had come to realize that between the respect his Obi-Wan had for him, there was a healthy dose of love too, not the same kind of love Ben now had for him but if Qui-Gon was asked to describe it, he’d say Obi-Wan cared for him like a father.

And Qui-Gon cared for the young man like his child.

And that made him horrified over all the things he had put Obi-Wan through.

But things would be different now. The future would be different.

He would not die before he saw his padawan become the knight he knew the man was capable of being.

“Disturbing this is. Attack a Jedi master on a peaceful mission on a peaceful planet…hmm.” Yoda’s ears were twitching.

Ben looked up and focused on Yoda. “They want us gone. They want us dead. The line of Bane want our destruction.” He murmured quietly before looking up at Qui-Gon and stepping from the mans arms towards the Grandmaster of the order.

Slowly he knelt down in front of the master’s chair and took his hand. “Qui-Gon’s bond has made me stronger. I’ll show you what I can but if I go to far it may break the rest of me. I may be able to show two more what the future holds.” He offered in his quiet but serious voice. “But I warn now, what you will see, may break you as much as it broke me living it.”

Yoda returned his stare before slowly nodding and looking around the room. “Two. Two you will show. Any volunteers?” Mace instantly stood and Qui-Gon moved to place a hand on Ben’s shoulder, giving Yoda a challenging look back.

“My mental prowess is quite well, regardless of what we see.” Depa offered quietly from her spot though she didn’t stand. “If the future is as dark as Ben indicates, then perhaps whoever is shown should be able to build strong mental walls to handle it?” She looked around the room.

“We’re all going to see it eventually.” Plo murmured. “But I agree with Depa as Ben’s walls are fragile even with Qui-Gon’s support, we do not want to damage him now that he has done such progress.”

“Depa, Yoda and Qui-Gon then.” Mace sat back down and Depa stood instead, moving to Ben’s side and kneeling down on his left side, gently taking his free hand and lacing their fingers together with a gentle smile to the man.

Ben didn’t smile back, only gave her a sad stare. “Heavy burdens are not to smile of Depa. I’m sorry…” And then he dragged them into his consciousness.

There were several tattered memories they passed. A green planet under attack by droids, Obi-Wan locked behind ray shields as Qui-Gon died, the pyre and how the memories sharply focused on a white haired man that looked faintly familiar to Qui-Gon and then it moved beyond what they could recognizance as Obi-Wan.

This was an older man, someone who had not yet broken but was struggling. Copper haired beard and hair, raising a padawan, being tortured, becoming stronger and stronger, the style of flight becoming the soresu, pride in the padawan.

And then it got ever darker, the tattered memories showing a galaxy thrown into chaos and suffering, men in armor lead by Jedi’s. Death on so many planets. The white haired man once again in focus, interacting with Ben’s padawan. Suspicion flared in Qui-Gon’s mind that he felt echoed by Depa and Yoda.

And they they found darkness.

“Beyond this point lies what finally broke me.” Qui-Gon head snapped around to find Ben standing by what looked like a door though not of any design Qui-Gon was familiar with. Ben looked haggered even in his own mind as he watched them.

“If you truly feel like you can handle it, all you have to do is step through here. But…you know now a little from the tattered memories we passed.” Ben shifted. “I would not blame you if any of you or all of you left now.”

Qui-Gon walked to Ben and took his hands. “If you think this can change the future then I will see it Ben.” He squeezed then slowly and Ben stared at him before looking at the others. “…You will see the temple burn. I’m so sorry.”

He stepped back and the door opened as Ben faded out of view.

Yoda moved past Qui-Gon. “Hrmm, to see it he does not wish to. Understand him I do. Go alone we must.”

Depa took a deep breath, collecting her own shields before moving with the grandmaster, Qui-Gon following up the rear.

They promptly walked into a bloodbath.

Their temple, their home.

Covered in dead. The men from Ben’s memory in armor and Jedi’s of all ages. Bile climbed to the back of Qui-Gon’s throat as he stared around and then he heard a noise, eyes widening as Ben suddenly appeared in the great hall, the mans eyes still deep green as he looked around in horror before he knelt down to check on one of the fallen Jedi’s. Yoda was not far behind him.

“…Not even younglings survived.” This time Qui-Gon couldn’t help but gag as he now saw how young these Jedi were, tiny stubs of braids hanging below ears, yet to be decorated with achievements. He heard Depa take a choked sob.

The scene abruptly shifted and Qui-Gon felt as if Ben was hiding something as they arrived in the middle of a conversation. “To fight this Lord Sidious strong enough you are not.” Yoda in the memories said to Ben.

“He’s like my brother. I can not do it.”

A broken look was starting to appear on Ben’s face as before the memories shifted abruptly again, Ben sitting on the bunk of a ship, his tunic and tabard scorched and holed by fire and Qui-Gon desperately wished to reach out and comfort him as it was clear much time had passed since the temple.

Ben suddenly gasped and grasped his chest, eyes wide as he wobbled of the bed and onto his knees. “Yoda…” He gasped before shuddering and turning his face into the bunk spread, his entire body shaking. “No…” Ben’s shoulders shook as he let grief take him, unrestrained sobs escaping the man as he broke right in front of them.

And then they were back in the Council chamber.

Qui-Gon shook before he stumbled and fell backwards on his ass, taking a gasping breath of air. He covered a warm cheek with one of his hands, feeling moisture and when he looked up a worried Obi-Wan was by his side, his padawan’s wide green eyes taking in the effect of the memories they had been shown.

He struggled to swallow and then looked back, seeing Depa in Mace arms, the former master trying his best to comfort a hysterically crying former padawan. “Not even the younglings Mace…” She mumbled into his chest.

Yoda’s eyes were closed but tears were running out from under the closed lids. “…The senator we saw. A sith he is.”

“Yes…I never saw his master.” Ben whispered. “He comes from Naboo. I don’t know what evidence exists. But he was a sith before I was a Jedi. Darth Sidious. Who took my padawan…and corrupted him…until I had to fight him.”

“You were all alone. You were really ALL alone. The only survivor of the order.” Depa whispered and Qui-Gon saw Mace tense.

They had speculated that Ben’s memories may have been distorted but with this they knew. The council, the masters, knights, padawans, initiates and even corps member. All of them slaughtered in the temple and logically slaughtered beyond it.

“…I can’t do it again. Please…I can not survive the order leaving again.” Ben continued to whisper. “Please.”


	17. No fear

Ben lifted his head for a moment and then reached up into his cupboard, taking a second cup and settling it on the tray along with his teapot and cup before adding a bowl of sugar and a small milk creamer that he filled with blue milk before slowly making his way to the coffee table with the tray.

He set it down, his knees creaking ever so slightly and his back giving a small snap before he settled down on the couch and pouring himself the first cup.

“You’re welcome to sit down Maul, I am unsure if you enjoy caf or tea, but you’re welcome to a cup if you wish.” He offered softly.

The shadow by the window shifted until Maul was standing there, framed by the light of Coruscant as he stared at Ben with his yellow eyes. Ben took a small sip as he watched the other curiously.

But not frightened.

Tattered shields were fragile enough that Maul could tell there was no fear in the old man who knew his name.

“…My Master wants you brought before him.”

“Oh. I’m sure Darth Sidious is quite angry I escaped his first attempt.” The old man smiled and tilted his head when Maul tensed. “Are you sure you do not want some tea? Its not overly sweet though you can add both milk and sugar if you wish. It would help with the stress you seem to carry.”

Maul hesitated then slowly moved towards the harmless old man, settling down on the end of the couch as far from the other as he could and taking the cup. “He’ll be angry if I do not return with you.” He offered in his soft voice.

“Only if he knew you got into the temple. He would not want you caught now would he.” Ben hummed softly and tilted his head, his long hair falling over his shoulder as faded green focused on Maul.

“…True.” Maul slowly took the tea pot and poured himself half a cup before promptly adding both sugar and milk as he let his Force senses examine all of it for deception.

Nothing. No poison, no suppressors, no truth serums.

This Jedi was…perplexing.

“I’d offer some sugar biscuits, but my healers won’t allow them.” Ben chuckled quietly at the amount of sugar Maul was spooning into the cup.

“I…prefer tarter treats.” He muttered in return.

“Good to know.” Ben peacefully sipped more while returning his eyes to the window.

“…Why are you not afraid of me?”

“Should I be? I can feel your curiosity. I’m clearly an anomaly and you are very smart Maul, regardless what Sidious thinks of you.” Maul tightened his grip on the cup at that, he knew very well what the damn man thought.

“That aside, I don’t mind dark siders. They are just another shade in a wide galaxy.” Ben shrugged slowly before looking at him with those knowing faded green. “And while you thrive on darkness, you do not thrive on death and pain.” He sighed quietly and tilted his head. “Though Sidious does corrupt that part of you too in the future…”

“What even are you?”

“Human. Just a broken human.” Ben brushed his hair out of the way. “Though the order are trying to put me together again.”

Maul watched him.

“Sidious will betray you. He stole you from your mother and your planet and he will betray you.” He almost crushed the cup at those softly but truthfully whispered words.

“You know to much. Sidious and his master think you are broken but you have showed that you are more. They aren't’ sure what to make of you. That’s a dangerous place to be.” Maul cautioned, unsure why he was.

“My life has not been safe in a very long time young Maul.” Ben shifted and looked to the door. “…You should leave. The guards are on their way, did you remember to shield properly?” Ben peeked curiously at him and Maul cursed his moment of slip-up in anger. He set the cup down and vaulted towards the window, sparing Ben a glance as the old man just gave a gentle wave.

He was gone before the door burst open to two temple guards invading Ben’s room with their lightsaber pikes activated.

Ben looked up at them and smiled a bit, unworried by their appearance in his home. “Tea? I’d have to fetch more cups but I’m always willing to share.”


	18. In the name of tea

“Ben, he could turn on you.” Qui-Gon offered quietly, holding the others hand tightly as the white haired man snuggled against his shoulder. The long strands had turned snow white during the time they had gotten closer.

“He won’t.”

“You don’t know that. He’s a sith Ben.” Qui-Gon wrapped the other up in his arms.

“I thought you wanted to talk about our bonding ceremony, not Maul?” Ben smiled at him and Qui-Gon sighed before smiling back.

“Yes, I was thinking something small. Us two, the council, my padawan and his friends which includes Quinlan.” He slowly caressed the others hand with his fingertips, smiling at the sensation of Ben utterly relaxing against him.

Ben hummed. “That sounds about those I really want there…” He mused. “And Che of course.”

“And Che.” Qui-Gon agreed readily, glancing at the purple tea box with a small smile before tucking a blanket around Ben’s shivering form. “Cold or just a muscle spasme?”

“Both. I got so used to living on a desert planet that now my body won’t adjust to the temple.” Ben whispered quietly before shifting up and pressing his lips to Qui-Gon’s in a slow kiss. “Thank you for looking after me.”

“I want to.” Qui-Gon stroked Ben’s cheek slowly. “I want to look after you. My Ben.”

“My Qui-Gon.”

()()()()

The shadow appears silently at his side and Ben smiles quietly to himself. “That is not wise of you.”

“My master thinks I’m gaining your trust.” Maul offered in return as he walked beside the Jedi.

“And are you?”

“…I don’t need to gain what I already have.” Maul took Ben’s groceries with careful arms as he noted the tremble in the others arms. “Should not your bond mate be here for this?”

“Qui-Gon is of on a mission with his padawan. Though I suspect he is also picking up a gift for me. You are of course aware that I’m being tracked and they have now seen you?” Ben stopped at a vendor to peer at the mouth watering succulent fruits before paying for four of them and tucking them into the bag Maul was carrying.

“Yes. But they already knew about me, did they not?”

“Of course. Even if I lied they’d know with my shields still struggling.” Ben mused before looking around. “Talking about gifts…I should get Qui-Gon his own for our bonding ceremony.” He hesitated as he looked around and Maul focused on him.

“…What does your mate enjoy?”

“Tea. Sparring. Strategy games. Art. Plants. The living Force…me?” Ben smiled in amusement at the Zabrak’s grimace. “Not like that. He…enjoys my company. And on the wholly, I am not healthy yet for those kind of activities. The strain on my heart alone…” He peeked around. “I don’t think bringing a helpless stray with me would count as a present but perhaps a tea plant…to grow and cultivate.” He mused on that for a bit.

“…There is a plant vendor down in the lower levels who carries exotic plants from different planets. However its not safe there. I do not think you should be there.”

“Not alone at least.” Ben looked at Maul and smiled warmly. “But I’m not alone am I?” This time Ben wasn’t even referring to the hidden Jedi guard that always followed him when he left the temple on his own.

Maul shifted on his feet before nodding and leading Ben along. “A gift then, for your mate. Tea plant? Would he even have time to cultivate it?”

“There’s always someone who can look after it.” The Jedi offered softly and then reached out, gently brushing his fingertips to Maul’s shoulder. “Always someone who will listen.”

Yellow eyes stared at him from inside the dark hood before Maul focused on holding onto the grocery bag. “We best get a shuttle, its a far walk for you.”

“Of course. Thank you Maul.”


	19. For Ben's sake

“Disturbing the report is Master Ben, understand our worry you must.” Yoda lifted his cane at the man who stood there peacefully, hands tucked into his own sleeve. “Dangerous Siths are.”

“Maul does not wish to harm me. He’s curious. And currently he’s throwing the other two of the trail. He told his master that he’s gaining my trust.” Ben smiled softly.

“And what if that’s exactly what he’s doing and he’s lying to you?” Mace growled, hiding his worry underneath his stoic face.

“He can’t earn something he already has.” Ben shrugged slowly.

“Ben please.” The other council members look sharply at Mace at those words though they do admit that they are also worried. “If he decided to betray you…”

“Those who are lost in the dark only require someone to speak to sometimes. He’s not bad. Not yet, he’s not been corrupted yet. Light and Dark and Gray are just shades and even those who wander in the Light can go astray.” Ben offered softly. “I know that is not a popular opinion but balance exists in it. Please consider that, please consider what has to change.” He smiled warmly at them.

Ben pulled his hands out of his sleeves and held them out. “You do not have to trust him. But please…trust me?”

What could they say to that other then yes?

()()()()()

They both stare at each other, hands resting on their saber hilts, tense and ready to draw their weapons as the quiet night passes around them. Qui-Gon had only wanted to check on the other, having been gone for close to a month, two weeks longer then the mission was intended to but they were needed.

He had, tired as he was, let himself into Ben’s apartment, smiling at the quiet, soothing sensation he felt over his skin and gone to check the bedroom.

He’d found Ben…and Maul.

Maul kneeling by the bed in the dark, obviously having been there a while from the look of it.

Ben made a soft noise and both glanced at the white haired man resting there.

Qui-Gon let out a deep breath through his nose and then slowly removed his hand from his hilt, staring at Maul as the sith, after a few seconds of hesitation, slowly did the same, resting his hands back in his lap.

“…You’re not suppose to be here.”

“Master Ben told me I was welcome anytime.” A softer then expected voice returned.

“You’re Maul.” Qui-Gon breathed out then glanced at Ben when the other made a soft noise again and shifted. Maul reached out and rested a hand on the older mans shoulder and he instantly settled at the touch, his sleepy Force presence reaching out before settling back in its slumbering state.

“…He hasn’t been sleeping well while you were gone. Nightmares, unease, insomnia…” Deep unnerving yellow eyes focused back on Qui-Gon.

“…I guess I should thank you then if you’ve been easing it.” Qui-Gon took a deep breath and closed his eyes before stepping back and out of the way. “…I won’t mention you’ve been here…for Ben’s sake.”

Maul stood slowly, keeping his eyes on the Jedi as he made his way out of the bedroom and to the window. “…You are lucky. He loves you.” Was all the Zabrak offered before he was out the window.

Qui-Gon let out a breath he hadn’t been aware he was holding in before moving to the bed and settling on the side, reaching out to stroke Ben’s cheek. Faded green opened to squint in the ever so faint light from the living room before Ben smiled drowsily up at Qui-Gon.

“You’re back.”

“Indeed dear. I apologize for the delay.”

“It was out of your hands.” Ben nuzzled the hand slowly then reached out, tugging on the other mans wrist.

“A moment.” Qui-Gon shifted and bent down to remove his boots before obliging Ben, laying down under the covers with the other and wrapping his arms around him.

“I missed you.” The younger man whispered with a content sigh at those arms once again being around him.

“And I you my Ben. The council tells me you’ve taken to wandering out of the temple alone.”

“Not alone.”

“…Your sith friend does not really count.”

“He’s kept me safe. I went to the lower levels on Coruscant. I found a present for you there.”

‘As if I needed a secondary heart attack.’ Qui-Gon thought dryly as he held the other man to him a bit tighter. “Ben…”

“It was quite safe. I was with Maul.”

“You trust him to much.”

“I trust him with just enough.” Ben yawned and burrowed closer to the warm chest, sighing in pleased bliss.


	20. Ben can and Ben shall

“Ben can but Ben shouldn’t.” Qui-Gon could feel a headache building as he placed his hands on his hips and stared at the other man.

“Ben can and Ben shall.” The man offered as he puttered into the kitchen sedately, peeking around before going for the fridge and peeking inside it.

“Ben, please.” The other man sighed then moved to him, wrapping him in his arms as Ben took a smoothie pouch that Quinlan had filled the fridge with for the time traveling Master with.

“I like Maul. I already told you that. He’s kind to me and he only needs someone who will listen.”

“Ben, I had Mace come storming down into the salle while I was sparring with Obi-Wan, telling me to get you to listen because you wouldn’t listen to the council. And usually that would make me very proud if it wasn’t for the fact that you actually did go into the lower levels of Coruscant with only a Sith as a backup.” He watched Ben unsnap the cork on the pouch.

“And the Jedi shadow.” He pointed out before sucking on the bag.

“You and Maul are lucky they have changed mission parameters for you two.” Qui-Gon grunted while resting his cheek on Ben’s head.

The white haired man hummed at him before shuffling to get out of the grasp and set on the kettle for a cup of tea. “Honestly though, I was quite safe.” Qui-Gon raised disbelieving eyebrows.

“Forgive me if I don’t believe you.”

“Oh I’ll just show you.” Ben reached out for the others hand, guiding Qui-Gon into his mind and past the shields.

()()()

I haven’t been to the lower levels in quite some time.” Ben looked around curiously at the seedy looking streets. Maul made a low noise and stayed close to the others side, grocery bag in arm. “For the better, its a cesspool of scum and criminals.”

“Hmm, someone should do something about that.” The Jedi tilted his head and stepped around a puddle instead of wading through it. “Very little light too.”

“If you want to do your deeds that is strictly not legal, the dark is the best.” The Zabrak shrugged, his unoccupied hand drifting to the hilt of his saber in warning as he noticed several nefarious looking individuals looking to Ben.

“Its honestly making it hard for me to see.” Ben sighed. “My eyes are really not what they used to be.”

“I can imagine so.” Maul eased up as they turned their attention of the obvious Jedi dressed man beside him. “The plant shop is down this way.” He nodded.

“Ah, good.” Ben beamed warmly at that and moved along with a content expression, seemingly unaware of the danger he was in. Maul glanced up to see a shadow moving on the roofs, both of them staring at each other before focusing on keeping pace with the old man.

Ben stepped in and peeked around the shop that smelled of earth, living things and fertilizer. Maul wrinkled his nose but Ben only smiled and stepped to the counter, greeting the Twi’lek standing in the store. “Good day madam. I’m looking for a tea plant, as a gift for my coming bondmate and was recommended this shop for exotic plants. Perhaps you can help me?”

She eyed his clothes then nodded. “Certainly serah Jedi. We have several tea plants in store right now. Though four of them are only seedlings, two are in seed form and three are ready to be planted in a garden. Which ones would you prefer?”

Ben mused on that, stroking his chin. “Qui-Gon would enjoy the chance to grow and care for it himself…so the seedlings perhaps?”

“This way serah.” She gestured, moving out from the counter and towards the back of the shop.

Ben followed without question and Maul closed his eyes before following quickly.

“This is a Alderaanian black tea plant. This is a Malestreaan fire plant.” She gestured to two saplings that was under lamps before gesturing to one with next to no light on it but with ample water. “A Naboo honey lake tea plant and this-” She gestured to the last one that was dark red in color. “Is a Corellian mountain tea plant.”

Ben peered closely at them before giving the Twi’lek a pleased smile, warm as he looked at the yellow skinned lady. “Oh you’ve cared well for these saplings. They’re all thriving rather happily.” He turned back and did not see her eyes blink in surprise before she turned both smug and happy looking. “These are going to grow into formidable bushes with continued care of this level. Qui-Gon would adore all four of them.”

“Well…for such a discerning customer…perhaps I could…lower my prices just a bit? So you could bring two with you home?” She hesitated, biting her lips.

Ben looked at her again and then took her hands. “Oh no, you need your money and I will not trick you out of any.” He smiled warmly before humming and looking between the plants. “As for which I want, the Corellian mountain plant fits Qui-Gon’s taste.” He looked mournfully at the honey lake plant before smiling warmly.

He did not see Maul carefully nodding to the plant then pointing at himself.

The Twi’lek nodded slowly to both of them. “I will have it delivered to the temple then serah. To whom is it going?” She went to the counter with Ben following.

“Ben Kenobi. Here’s my credit chit.” He dug through his robe pocket and accepted the recipe for the plant after paying.

“It should be there tomorrow serah, if not then come back with the recipe to ensure it gets delievered.” She jumped a bit when Ben gave her a little bow and quickly returned it, blushing slightly.

“Thank you gratiously my lady.” He turned to Maul and smiled warmly. “I think I’m ready to head home now.”

Maul nodded and gestured with his head to the door. “We’ll go find the speeder again.”

As they left, the Twi’lek went to put aside both the lake plant and the mountain plant, knowing the red and black Zabrak would be back later for the former.

()()()()

“See? Nothing dangerous happened.” Ben went back to his smoothie pouch.

Qui-Gon gaped at him then took a deep breath. ‘I’ll…have to thank Maul…sith hells…’

“You got me a tea plant?” He wrapped his arms around Ben again.

“Its a bonding present, you wont get it yet.” The other man teased then eyed the smoothie pouch. “…Is this baby food?”

“Yes. Quinlan said its approved by the healers as an in between snack for you. No additives.” The older man eyed the other warily.

Ben just shrugged at that. “Its good.” He went back to eating as they waited on the water to boil, Qui-Gon burying his face in the others soft white hair with an amused huff.


	21. In which Ben gets a little lost

They all looked up as the door opened, disturbing their lesson, the young padawans peering curiously at the man who had arrived in a flash of light weeks ago. He looked better some of them noted, physically at least.

“Oh dear, this is not the right room.” The master sighed.

Knight Kun shook herself and smiled gently at him. “Master Ben, are you lost?”

“Hmm, oh yes, I was to meet…hmm…” Ben squinted at the holo of a planet behind the knight then tilted his head. “Ah, Uva, very strange planet, rained acid on me the whole time I was there.” He mused and the knight, who had been about to help the old Master lost her voice. “You’ve….been to Uva?”

“Yes, very far into wild space. Very dark, there was only sun for two hours and most of its plants thrived in moon light and was toxic to eat since they thrived on the acid rain.”

Kun hesitated then gestured for one of the chairs, smiling. “Perhaps you’d tell us more about it. The only records we have of it are from bygone ages when the Sith still thrived.”

“My memories are not what they used to be, but I can tell you what I remember.”

Later the Knight carefully escorted Ben to the mess hall where a frazzled looking Mace Windu nodded to her in relief before guiding the older master to a table, both talking with each other in quiet comfort.

Kun wondered if Ben knew any other planets thought lost.

()()()

“Master Do’lan a w-”

“Shh!” The creche master glared at the master of the order before glancing back and giving a relieved breath. “Honestly Master Mace, its resting hour, the little ones are resting.”

“My apologies.” Mace whispered. “I was just hoping you’d seen Master Ben, he was suppose to meet Qui-Gon but he never showed up.”

“Master Ben is right here, he took a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in the creche.” The calamari gestured behind himself and Mace looked around him, staring at the winged back chair where Ben was indeed curled up, two little Rodian’s napping in his lap against his chest with others resting on pillows around the chair.

“I…”

“He told stories to them. The little one enjoyed his company. He…also may have some fingerpaint smudges on him I believe.”

“Ben is considered…soothing by many. He’s resting?”

“Yes. I checked in with the healers and one showed up with his medication for the hour and he’s eaten with the little ones after they had fingerpaint.” Do’lan nodded and Mace closed his eyes in relief.

“That’s a worry off my back.”

“He’s welcome back later I must say. The little ones were calm around him and his stories were fascinating. They all wanted to make pictures for him.”

The Korun master chuckled quietly. “If Ben is amendable, perhaps.”

()()()()

“Your…schedule is full?” Qui-Gon asked softly, surprised. Was Ben having more therapy then Qui-Gon was aware of?

“Yes, Master Do’lan said the little ones enjoyed my company and Knight Kun would love for me to come back to tell them more about planet Uva.” Qui-Gon’s hands froze where they had been fixing Ben’s belt before he peered at him. “You’ve been to Uva, Ben that’s…”

“Its a very uncomfortable planet.” Ben glanced away then blinked and looked at Qui-Gon. “I…what were we talking about?”

The older man smiled gently. “Do’lan and the little ones. And breakfast.”

“Oh, right. Toast sounds nice today.”

“Indeed Ben. There’s also boiled egg.”

“Really? that sounds splendid.


	22. Our heaven

There was a soft knock on his bedroom door and Ben looked up, blinking as he recognized the Force sensation behind it. “Obi-Wan? Come in please.” The copper haired padawan stepped in and smiled at him, moving to Ben’s side. “Hey, master sent me to check you’re alright.”

Ben blinked then smiled softly. “Of course, did Quinlan ask you to check on me too?”

“Maaaybe, he and Mace are still setting up the flower arch though.” Obi-Wan reached for the brush and settled beside Ben on the bed to brush the others long hair carefully, having done so for both his master and the older man in front of him. “And they may also have asked me to help you with your clothes just in case.”

Ben chuckled at that. “I would appreciate that actually, my shoulders hurts so lifting my arms are a bit…difficult right now.” He leaned back to allow Obi-Wan to carefully braid his hair with purple and gold bands. “It feels frivolous…”

“They’re the same color as the courting box, its tradition. Master told me. He’ll like to see them in your hair. Traditionally speaking your robes should be like this too but, well we are after all Jedi’s so dress whites.” He glanced at the robes and smiled a bit. “Though I see the quartermaster has taken the liberty of adding a bit of color.”

“Makes sense she insisted on the golden and purple belt. Is Qui-Gon’s hair like this too?”

“That would be telling Master Ben.” Obi-Wan chuckled and tied of the braid just at the shoulder blades.

“Obi-Wan…”

“Oh alright, no, his is lose.” Obi-Wan knelt down to help the other man into his boots, carefully lacing them up and tying them. “Are you nervous?”

“No. I…I don’t know what I’m feeling. I feel like this day has been a long time coming despite never having thought I’d end up in the past of all things. Does that make sense?”

“Not really but then again, not a lot have in the last few years.” Obi-Wan grinned as he helped the other stand. “But everything feels better, lighter. Yoda says the Force is easier to reach for and he has a better time letting it guide him. I reach my meditation easier too.”

Ben chuckled and allowed Obi-Wan to help him get into the white tunic and tabards before the purple and gold belts went around his waist, carefully cinched. “Purifying the temple has helped much. I’m glad.”

Obi-Wan carefully folded and tucked the sleeves around Ben’s wrists before looking at him. “…Are you happy Ben?”

“Happier then I ever thought I’d be. Are you Obi-Wan?”

The young man in front of him blinked then gave a wide smile, nodding. “Very.”

()()()

The Coruscantian night was alive with happiness, music and soft conversation, Ben resting his head against Qui-Gon’s collarbone with a soft smile as the older man carefully waltzed them around the garden ground.

Lanterns hanging from the gardens trees provided all the light they would need as it glittered of various night time blossoms, the living Force around them squealing in happiness.

On a table a purple and golden box rested, finally open and empty and its content gone. Two empty cups carried the remaining evidence of what had once been in it.

Ben raised his head enough to give his bondmate a soft kiss, a glowing golden bond pulsing warmly in the back of his mind that he knew would never fade as they took their path togheter. His faded green took in the modest table of gifts for the two bondmates and felt a smile flicker over his lips.

There on the table, healthy as the day he had seen it in the plant shop, was the Naboo honey lake tea seedling.


	23. Ben handles everyone

Ben stepped out of his and Qui-Gon’s quarters with a small smile on his face before turning and raising his eyebrows. “Well, are you coming or not?” He questioned, tilting his head with an even softer, coaxing smile on his face.

There were some curious Jedi’s around as they knew that Qui-Gon had already vacated the rooms to spar with his padawan.

Their curiosity turned to surprise then horror as the red and black tattooed Zabrak hesitantly stepped out of the quarters and stopped in front of the older Jedi who continued smiling.

Ben however took the Sith by the sleeve, holding it gently in his fingers as he started to lead him through the halls of the Jedi temple with a calm and casual air about him, Maul following along with tense shoulders as they passed more and more staring Jedi’s.

“Ben, I’m not sure this is a smart idea…” He offered in his soft voice.

“Bantha fodder, they’ll listen…oh that reminds me, I forgot lunch.” Ben blinked then looked to Maul. “Remind me of that when we get back to the quarters.”

Maul sighed but nodded, allowing the older man to guide him by his sleeve to the elevator. As it closed he saw a young calamari spring through the halls and leaned closer to Ben. “I’m surprised no one stopped us.”

“Oh, there will more then likely be temple guardians waiting us on the top floor.” Ben offered easily then took Maul’s hand instead as the other tensed. “But they’ll let me past. And you. You have evidence after all.”

Ben was right, on the top floor several temple guardians were waiting on them, lightsaber pikes activated.

“Oh, hello.” Ben smiled at them. “I have meeting with the Council. I have to introduce everyone to my padawan.”

“WHAT!?” Came the roaring voice of Mace Windu from the council chamber.

Ben gently tugged Maul with him past the guardians, smiling. “Mace, I have a padawan. He has evidence for all of you to take a look at.”

The Korun master rubbed a hand over his face. “Ben…Ben please, you can’t take a sith as your padawan.”

“Former Sith. Also an apprentice. He’s renouncing his vows as a Sith to be my padawan. Mace meet Maul, Maul meet Mace Windu.” Ben beamed warmly and tugged Maul with him to the middle of the chamber.

“…Evidence you say?” Yoda’s ears twitched as he watched Maul and Ben.

The Zabrak hand tightened on Ben’s before nodding slowly. “Yes.” He offered softly before reaching for his belt and pulling a data chip from a pouch. “Everything you’d need to put both Hego Demask and Sheev Palpatine on trial for several crimes of corruption and murder. Also proof of their plotting to overthrow and promote certain governmental systems.”

There was a bit of hesitation before Mace stepped to them and took the chip from Maul, staring at him before moving to insert the chip into his chair for them to review the information.

Ben meanwhile was happily humming, squeezing Maul’s hand reassuringly. “Maul’s twenty one. He’s an excellent duelist and very capable of Force abilities.” He beamed. “I’ll have no need to teach him those things but I will be teaching my padawan Jedi philosophy and the light side of the Force.”

Maul looked to Ben suddenly and frowned. “Your ankles feel painful. You should sit down.” He shifted in agitation.

Mace closed his eyes. “…You’ve already formed a padawan bond.”

Ben just smiled at that.

“…You know what Ben…I’m…just going to let Qui-Gon handle you. Yup. And Quinlan.”

Ben tilted his head as the bond between him and Qui-Gon flared to life with alarm. ‘Ben, why is padawan Eerin here in the salle telling us that you have a sith by the hand through the Jedi temple?’

‘I don’t have a sith by the hand. I have my padawan by the hand.’ Ben offered back peacefully, feeling a flash of surprise through the bond.

‘Your…oh no…you know what, I’m going to let Mace handle that one.’

‘Funnily enough, that’s what Mace said.’

‘I…alright…fine…just…I’ll make bantha skewers for dinner…tell him to behave.’ Qui-Gon let out a sound the equivalent of a mental sigh. ‘…I love you.’

‘I love you too~’ Ben looked to Maul and smiled warmly. “Qui-Gon says that he’ll make bantha skewers for dinner. Now come along padawan, we need to get you new clothes befitting a Jedi…and I believe we need some silka beads.” He mused.

Maul looked back at the council and shrugged at them, looking just as lost as the Jedi council.

How was it that Ben could wrap them all around his slightly lost old fingers?


	24. Grandmaster ride

“And breathe out…” Ben opened his eyes, smiling softly at the red skinned Zabrak in front of him, stroking the back of the others hand as Maul did as told, a butterfly peacefully resting on one of his horns. The sight sent calm waves through the older man as he Maul continued to slowly breath and immerse himself into the light side of the Force, steadily purging the sith tattoos from himself under Ben’s guidance.

He caressed the others wrist gently and sent a soft pulse of affection towards his padawan, humming softly at the shy affirmation he got in return.

This Maul was so very different from the one Ben had meet in the future. Was shaping to be a much different man though still soft spoken.

“Well done Maul.” The Jedi master offered when the other surfaced moments later.

“Thank you…we should return to our quarters, we’ve been here for quite some time. Master Jinn is bound to be worried.” Maul stood slowly, helping Ben up with careful hands. The master gave a low grunt of discomfort as his knee made an audible snapping noise before sighing in relief as he straightened out.

“Yes, you are right of course. He’s been good about not monitoring me though.” Ben reached up and curved his hand around the back of Maul’s neck, pulling him down and carefully pressing a kiss to the others forehead. “Well done padawan. You’ve come so far already.”

“Thanks to you.” Maul smiled a bit in shy confusion, the trail of golden silka beads resting against his shoulder.

Ben just chuckled at that before sighing as felt the soreness return to his legs and back.

“…Next time though, you should sit on a bench instead of kneeling with me.” Maul frowned before offering his arm to the other as support, Ben leaning gratefully on his padawan. “Your knees do not bend like those of the youth master.”

“Bah, it gives Qui-Gon reason to spoil me.”

“It gives me reason to throw dignity to the wind and pick you up like a prince or princess.” Maul offered back.

“Ah, you are learning the language of sass padawan of mine, good, good.”

“Not so much sass as genuine worry Master…how about a Grandmaster of the order carry instead?”

“So a piggyback ride?”

“Yes.”

“Would it make you happier and stop worrying?”

“Yes.”

“Fine. Yes, Grandmaster carry it is.” Maul smirked at that and stepped in front of Ben before bending a bit down, allowing the other onto his back for a careful carry back to the quarters.

Since the removal of his more obvious tattoos, people had stopped staring as much though he could still hear muted whispers. They weren’t the same horrified or worried ones that existed before though, more intrigued would be his guess.

‘They think you’re handsome’ Ben chuckled along the bond, resting his chin on the others shoulder.

‘Not sure what I feel about that…’

‘You do not have to feel anything about it. No one will blame you if you keep your distance for now. Reminds me, Obi-Wan was asking about sparring with you if you were interested, are you?’

Maul mused on that. ‘Is it alright with Master Jinn?’

‘Qui-Gon is…unsure but he won’t say no. He may want to observe but so do I. You know he’s still confused by all of this.’

Maul snorted and Ben chuckled out loud as they stopped in front of the quarters, Ben opening it up so Maul could step through the doors with him still on the youngsters back.

“Welco-Ben?”

“His knees creaked and snapped. I told him he should have sat on a bench instead.” Maul offered Qui-Gon before carefully settling Ben on his feet, giving Obi-Wan a small smile as the other padawan waved at him.

“I see. A warm bath for later then.” Qui-Gon moved to his bondmate and gave him a soft kiss. “It went well?”

“Yes, Maul is progressing quite well. We should be able to get rid of all the tattoos on the next session.” Ben nodded before smiling at Maul. “If you wish to get new ones after you can of course.”

“I will think about it. I may not get new ones, like Master Kolar.”

“Its up to you Maul, your choice.” Ben nuzzled against Qui-Gon’s broad chest, closing his eyes and therefor not seeing the three other exchange looks over his head.

“I’m surprised they can be removed at all.” Maul ventured carefully as he moved with Obi-Wan into the kitchen to start on lunch for them.

“Normally…you shouldn’t be able to. But you desire change, the light side of the Force provides and…there is me. I act as the middle man who…cleans.” Ben yawned a bit against Qui-Gon’s chest, making a low noise of unhappiness as he was moved only to settle as they sat on the couch with Ben in the older master’s lap.

“So the meditation is a form for…purification?” Maul paused, glancing at Ben in surprise.

“In a manner. But I’m just the middle man. Your tattoos belong to the dark where you no longer want to be.” Ben yawned again, snuggling against the other man as Qui-Gon slowly undid the braid and rubbed his fingers through the long white hair. “Your wish to be rid of the Sith that you once embraced is what is truly removing it, I just bring the additional power for it.” He mumbled a bit as Qui-Gon removed his hands to wrap a blanket around them.

Maul tilted his head before nodding, assured by the others sleepy words.

Obi-Wan gave him a half smile as the two worked quietly together to prepare lunch while Ben drowsed against his bondmate.

“…Your future will be better then what it was…it will all be better.” Ben mumbled before tucking his face into Qui-Gon’s collarbone.


	25. I am not him

“You smell nice.” Ben chuckled quietly as Quinlan wrapped him in a tight hug, the Kiffar rubbing his cheek against the others head like a large affectionate cat.

“He smells like a swamp rat.” Obi-Wan huffed.

“Shush, Ben cuddles now.” Quinlan scolded before going back to nuzzling the top of the older mans head. Maul watched quietly from the salle benches, brows raised. The Zabrak looked and felt like a totally different man, lacking all his tattoos and a gray sensation in the Force more then anything else.

“I’d say he smelled like a womp rat, but that’s just my opinion.” Ben offered in return.

“I’m not that ba-wait you’ve been close enough to smell womp rats?” Quinlan pulled back enough to blink down at him and Ben shrugged. “Tattooine is full of em, tastes good in soup though.” He shuffled away from Quinlan to sit down on the benches beside Maul, giving his padawan a soft smile.

“…Don’t they carry a form for plague?”

“Oh yes, but that’s only if you get bitten.” Ben offered airily before resting his head on Maul’s shoulder.

All three younger men traded looks at that.

“Was lucky to never get bitten honestly. May have been alright the first few years but the older you get, the worse the plague effects you.” Ben mused before almost bouncing to his feet as Qui-Gon arrived, moving to his bondmate with a warm smile. “There you are.”

“Apologies, Plo had some questions for me.” Qui-Gon pressed a kiss to the others temple and then nodded to the others. “Knight Vos, good to see you back…less happy to smell you but that’s what showers exist for.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it, I reek. I’ll go handle it.” Quinlan groaned before moving over and giving Ben one last hug before he left.

Qui-Gon snorted then smiled down at Ben. “We ready for a sparring session then?”

“Mhmm, just let me tie my hair.” Ben peeked through his belt for hair ties only for Qui-Gon to pull one out of his and tie Ben’s hair into a bun. “…Maul pulled a hair tie from his belt earlier and so did Obi-Wan. Does everyone I know have hair ties now?”

“Yes. You tend to lose yours.” Qui-Gon offered peacefully.

“Hmm.”

“You do tend to lose them Master.” Maul offered while standing slowly, stepping onto the mats to warm up with Obi-Wan.

Ben meanwhile nuzzled himself under Qui-Gon’s chin for a bit of comfort, smiling softly at the gentle hands in his hair.

“There we go, nice bun to keep it out of your eyes.” The older man offered before leaning down and stealing a quick kiss. “Now lets go warm up and then we can spar.”

“We’re sparring? Oh good, its nice when you trust me.”

“We’re not going to far or to long, last time we did that you pulled a joint.” Qui-Gon murmured and moved to the other mat, nodding to Maul and Obi-Wan. “You two can continue warming up or spar too.”

“Spar!” Obi-Wan offered excitedly, giving Maul a carefree grin that was returned with a softer one from the Zabrak.

Ben took a few second to peer at them before smiling softly.

Qui-Gon rolled his eyes a bit but was smiling too as the younger men went at it, more play fighting then actually sparring.

‘Its kind of cute. You have to admit that.’ Ben offered softly.

‘Only because Maul is so soft spoken. Obi-Wan is being obnoxious about it.’

‘I never seen him react to someone like this.’ Ben stretched slowly, mirroring Qui-Gon’s katas.

Qui-Gon hesitated a bit at that. ‘You mean you never reacted like that. Don’t you?’

‘Not really. Obi-Wan is different from me, this Obi-Wan is very different from me. I was…I was different as a padawan. I tried to…I was a very stiff and proper padawan.’ Ben hummed.

Qui-Gon thought that information over even as he slowed his pace for his bondmates sake. ‘And he isn’t?’

‘He’s willing to change. That’s different, he’s willing to challenge beliefs now. I wasn’t. That took time. Things are different in the temple Qui-Gon, this is not the temple of my padawan days. And he laughs more.’ Ben chuckled softly.

Qui-Gon conceded to that before shifting and bowing a bit to Ben, smiling as his bondmate returned the favor. “Spar now?”

“Training sabers. I don’t want to hit you again.” Ben sighed quietly and the other man quickly stepped closer, taking his hands and stroking them. “Hey, that was an accident and the power was low. You didn’t mean to.”

“I still made a hole in your sleeve and burned you.” Ben sighed again, more miserably.

Maul and Obi-Wan were still circling each other, both grinning as they feinted and tested each other. Both to caught up in each other to notice anything else for the moment.

“That’s what bactas there for love.” Qui-Gon smiled and stroked Ben’s cheek gently, feeling the other melt into the touch.


	26. Do not fail me

“To go to Nigama you are to, a peaceful mission it should be for you two while Master Qui-Gon and his padawan searches the Dima cluster for the true source of the disturbance.” Yoda finished, watching the Zabrak and Ben for their reactions and interactions. Maul was paying close attention, attentive to the council and to his master who was…looking at Depa or more likely at Depa’s chair.

“Lost you are Master Ben?” Yoda inwardly sighed, he had hoped for some improvement but perhaps Ben would always be a bit lost, he did his duty just like anyone even if he did lose his way now and then.

“Hmm? Perhaps? I was just thinking about how that was my seat once.” Ben offered airily, tilting his head. “I used to hide corellian brandy and gummies in it for long meetings.” He smiled faintly, fondly before blinking and looking at Yoda. “Nigama, yes, right, that’s a good place to be. Sunny and warm. Maul we will need sunscreen I think…or well I will.” Ben thoughtfully tilted his head.

“…Your seat Ben?” Depa blinked, shifting a bit.

“Hmm? Oh, yes. You were injured. So I took the council seat, I was thirty five…strange how that goes. Well, chop chop Maul, we should get going. Pack.” Ben bowed and headed for the doors while Maul threw them all an apologetic look before hurrying after his master.

Mace just sighed and shook his head, it wasn’t like Ben was trying to snub them, obviously one of his worse days. “…Did he wake up screaming again?”

“Yes.” Qui-Gon offered shortly in return before closing his eyes and breathing out through his nose. “I mean…yes, he did. He woke up screaming and crying, calling for Cody.” He rubbed the brink of his nose, he sometimes got the feeling that Ben had loved this Cody at some point but that it never went anywhere and now it was just a faded memory.

“Hurt himself? Tried to leave again?” Yoda’s ears twitched.

“No. Happily he did not. He curled into me. He’s getting better Masters, I swear but the healers has warned us. Ben might never be fully settled and physically he is as good as he can be.” Qui-Gon smiled a bit at that, Ben had worked hard to gain that health back.

Ben was no longer a ravaged wreck of an old man. Treatment, good food and care had done exactly what it was suppose to, help him. His knees snapped, his back hurt and he still needed his medications but he could live as close to a normal life as possible for a Jedi.

“I’m kind of worried about the fact that he had my chair.” Depa offered in turn, looking around. “Because we’re not that far apart in age.”

“Injured you were he said, common this seemed. Many injured Jedi in the future.” Yoda frowned.

“…I get on the council?” Obi-Wan blinked and everyone looked at him as the copper haired teen looked back, shrugging. “Well…Ben was me. I got on the council seat…and…I was pretty young for a Jedi Master and a council member.” Obi-Wan shrugged. “No disrespect but I’m happy to still be a knight at thirty, never mind the council.”

“He’s…right. Ben was a very young master to be on the council.” Qui-Gon frowned at his padawan, thinking hard. ‘No…no that’s not the future anymore. The future is changed thanks to Ben. The world is different. The TEMPLE is different.’

“Look after his master, Padawan Maul will.” Yoda gestured at them with his cane. “Concentrate on your own mission you two should.”

“Yes Master.” Both bowed as they were clearly dismissed.

Elsewhere two yellow eyed men had the information they wanted. “Nigama. Only him and your ‘redeemed’ apprentice.”

“I know. I will handle it Master.”

“You better. Do not fail me this time.”


	27. A look back (or is it forward?)

Ben is standing next to him, watching the ship they are to take out come in, his head resting on Qui-Gon’s shoulder as Obi-Wan and Maul talk softly together, sharing secretive, shy smiles. Ben is relaxed, his mind an easy sunny day, warm and content as he lets faded green flicker around with a small smile.

His tattered shields are up and guarding his mind as Mace comes to say goodbye and good luck to them.

And then they are gone and he is broadcasting, eyes on the ship.

The same ship that is suddenly crashing to the ground in Ben’s mind, Ben on it, crashing out one of its windows and to the ground, his hands scratched and burned and bleeding and his body aching in all the wrong ways as he scrambles to get up while coughing out blood and gravel.

“General Kenobi!? Are you alright?” Ben lifted his head, wiping his face quickly before turning and giving as much of a wry smile as he could to the armored men landing in another similar shuttle as others in white race to the fallen ship. “I might require some medical aid Commander.”

“Helix!”

“On it.” Another jogged to Ben’s side, kneeling down and grasping his hands. “Sir, you’ve dislocated your fingers again. Four of them.”

“I know, snap them into place and give me a stim Helix, we don’t have time for much else. General Grievous waits for no one.”

The healer made a loud, audible grumble before setting to work, snapping Ben’s fingers into place.

Ben only grunted in discomfort. “Fifth…fifth time isn’t it…”

“Seventh if you count the time you dislocated your thumbs.”

“That was a friendly spar that went to fa-ah!” Ben closed his eyes and took a breath. “…I think that one was actually broken Helix. Stim now.”

“General…”

“We don’t have time Helix. Stim.”

“Against my better judgment General, I’m telling the commander however.” Ben grinned, blood and dirt streaking his face and clothes as he moved to answer…

Ben shook his head and blinked, glancing around and then at his hands before at the ship. “Oh…huh…oh dear.” He hummed before smiling. “My, Cody did quite yell at me after that.” He mused, nuzzling his face into Qui-Gon’s shoulder.

Qui-Gon stared at the others head on his shoulder before shifting and taking the others hands, looking them over. “Ben…did…why are you so calm?” He whispered as he held his bondmates hands tight in his.

“Huh?” Ben blinked at him before smiling. “I’m not sure I follow…”

Mace took a deep breath from where he was standing before moving over and resting a hand on Ben’s shoulder, forcing a small smile. “Be safe on your trip Ben, let Maul do the fighting should something happen…” He glanced at the others hands in Qui-Gon’s, letting out a sharp breath through his nose then squeezing gently. “And look after yourself.”

Ben blinked, looking at them before smiling and nodding, tugging his hands out of Qui-Gon’s warm and protective hold as he walked up the ramp with Maul following even closer then he normally did.

“…We can’t let the future turn into that Mace.” Qui-Gon whispered. “I…I will not have it.”

“Master Yoda says the future is in motion. That Ben’s arrival has changed many things. I…no, we will not let that happen Qui-Gon.” Mace looked at him before nodding. “Stay safe on your travel and may the Force be with you, all of you.”


	28. Missing

“I think they’ve been spoiling you Master.” Maul offered softly, smiling at how happy the other looked and felt. “Your teeth are going to rot away.” He chided gently.

“Mmmn, but its so good. I haven’t had proper sweets in so long and the healers has cleared my diet for more options.”

“And you choose to celebrate that with blue yogurt icecream with cut up fruits and Alderaan honey?” Maul chuckled softly.

Ben gave him a wide smile and took another spoonful from the cup of cold deliciousness he had been given from the vendor. Maul had been offered some too but said he lacked the sweet tooth for it.

Ben however had happily accepted. “Its also a healthy treat considering it all, the healers want me to consume more diary for my bone structure. They say its starting to look a bit fragile from the years of neglect.” Ben took another spoonful as Maul shifted closer to his master.

“…Perhaps some spoiling is not so bad then. You haven’t had sweets in a long time have you?”

“Hmm? No? Not really. I spent a long time alone on Tatooine. And between providing water and supplies for myself, I couldn’t really afford sweets. Occasionally there was a festival though and I could get these…sugar fermented desert fruits? And a form for delicate gelatin thing, but those were rare and only if there were off-world traders.” Those were one of the few fond memories Ben had from Tatooine. He smiled into the yogurt, his whole body relaxed as he wandered beside his Maul towards their ship.

Maul itched to wrap his arm protectively tight around his master but managed to resist, mentally repeating his mantra of exactly where Ben was and that he was safe and in sight and that Maul could get him medical aid if he needed it.

But he would let it slip to Qui-Gon and Vos that Ben was a bit sweet deprived.

Ben threw the empty cup into the trash can of the shipping bay before they made their way up the ramp of their ship, Ben tucking his hands into his sleeves as he felt the bliss of getting out of the sun. He wondered if he could request a mission to jungle planet or a water one instead of a desert one next time.

A flash of darkness was their only warning before Ben fell forward and hit the ground, a dark dart in his neck before Maul could even pull his lightsaber. He meet the red saber with his own, startled yellow meeting the acid ones of his old master.

He barely had time to scream before lightning slammed through him and brought him down to darkness.

Ben could feel his padawan suddenly collapse but could make no move even as a pair of black boots stopped by him and kicked his knee roughly. “And you’re the one causing us so much trouble…pathetic.” There was a shift and something locked around his collar in an all to familiar sensation and then Ben knew no more as the Force was swept from his grasp.

()()()

In the temple and out over the galaxy several people stilled in shock as the fragile but sparkling bond they had with one man suddenly silenced out and left no trace of the man in question.

“BEN!”


	29. Not ready

Ben’s not sure where they are, it could be Hoth for all he knows as the light outside his cell never changes and neither does the temperature. It is always cold.

The window of his cell does not have a cover and flakes of snow drifts in as his breath fogs and his joints freeze, his body shakes and he curls more around himself and wraps the robe as best he can. It doesn’t ward of the cold fully but it keeps him from developing frostbite.

The narrow berth in his prison cell was never in use as it was as cold as ice and a droid came by once a day with whatever it was they served as food for him. Honestly, it was not as bad as snake though Ben had a suspicion his healers would not be happy about the lack of nutrition. Water froze within the hour if left alone and Ben had to drink it or hold it until he was finished lest he lose that days rations.

His fragile shields were holding for now but the conditions were certainly taking a toll on his body now that he was used to the warmth and comfort of the temple.

In his better moments, he thinks about those he has bonds to who can’t feel him and wonders if they are looking for him.

He remembers his bonding night. Qui-Gon’s slow and gentle hands guiding him, holding and stroking slowly and in awe. Soft lips along his neck and shoulder. The warmth of their shared bed, the duvet wrapped around them.

Ben wakes back in the cold and shivers all the more for the memory of warmth and comfort. His heart beats harshly inside him as he wonders about his padawan, if Maul is alive and safe. Palpatine had not been gentle his memory whispers and his wounded knee aches in remembrance.

()()()

Maul stared up in confusion, his sluggish brain feeling like it was playing catch up with the past as he struggled to sit up.

What had happe-BEN!

His midsection ached in pain and there was a sudden squeal in the room even as he sat up, eyes wide as he looked around, his mind logging the area as the Halls of Healing in the Jedi temple. But no Ben and he could not feel Ben even as the door was suddenly thrown open to a Healer and Master Windu standing there.

“Padawan Maul, calm yourself.” She ran to Maul’s side, healing energy instantly latching onto his midsection and willing the pain away even as she turned the heartrate machine off.

Maul however focused on the Master of the Order, yellow focusing on the man in desperation. “W-What happened? Where is Master Ben?”

“That’s what we wanted to know. His bonds fell silent and you were found in the Jedi ship on the verge of death Padawan. The shipping bay personnel found it odd that the Jedi ship was still in the bay with its ramp open and went to check. They found you, alone, almost sliced in half and you spent almost a week in a bacta tank. You lost some intestines and parts of your stomach but you will survive with no other damage but the scars and some minor inconvenience of your organs.” Mace offered as calmly as he could. A Jedi master was missing and a padawan had been found on death doors. It was clear who had taken him of course but still.

“I-Ben fell, we were walking up the ramp and then there was a flash of darkness and…Palpatine! Palpatine was there. He attacked and I…” Maul buried his face in his hands. “He took Ben. He must have taken Ben.” He whispered in horror.

“…We assumed it was the sith. Its good to know for sure but still. Maul, do you have any idea where they might have brought him?” Ben was not dead, not yet, no one had felt him pass into the Force and Qui-Gon was sure to feel his bondmate if he did.

“I…” Maul struggled to think. “Mustafar perhaps but that’s a known place, somewhere I know about. Koribban perhaps?” Maul wracked his mind as the healer was unplugging him from the heart rate machine now that it was clear Maul was awake and safe.

“I should have done more.” He whispered and looked up when Windu sat down on his bedside and rested his hands on Maul’s shoulders.

“You did much. The entire ships cargobay was covered in lightsaber marks and you almost died. You did your best.”

“It wasn’t enough. Ben is gone.” Maul argued.

“Yes, that is true. But we will find him.” Mace squeezed the others shoulders and the Zabrak hesitated before nodding slowly. “As it is, several Jedi’s are on the lookout for any signs of them or him and with your conscious evidence, we can appeal to the Senate since they are already fugitives.”

The Zabrak nodded once again and tried not to think about the state they’d find Ben in.

A week already in the Sith lords grasp?

His poor master.

()()()

“Ah, you haven’t frozen to death. That’s good, my master still wishes to interrogate you.” Ben looked up at the voice, meeting the caustic yellow of Sheev Palpatine’s eyes. It reminded him of another life with other eyes that had looked like that.

“No…I am still alive. I may be more fragile then the standard Jedi but I’m not all broken yet.” Ben offered before standing slowly, his back and knee snapping at him as he did and his already aching knee screaming at him.

Ben ignored it. He knew better then to show weakness in front of Siths.

He still couldn’t stop the shakes from the cold or the way his breath stuttered, his warm breath fogging the cold air.

Palpatine smirked at that and Ben’s heart sunk. “Put your wrists together.” The man drawled and Ben slowly did as told, wincing when they suddenly snapped together by the cuff on each and firmly trapped him before the sith stepped into the cell and nodded for Ben to step out.

Ben did, limping as he did, his knee screaming a protest in his head for each move. His legs and feet felt numb and he worried for the lack of sensation in his toes. ‘No, don’t think about that…not yet.’

He could think about the lack of sensation in his toes when he was no longer in captivity.

His mind turned to Qui-Gon, Qui-Gon’s soft smile, his gentle hands. Quinlan braiding his hair, his warm arm around Ben’s shoulder. Obi-Wan carefully checking in on him and making meals in the kitchen. Maul, gentle Maul letting him nap with his head on the mans lap. Mace and their tea in the councilors room. The tea plants he and Qui-Gon was gently tending to, encouraging the growth of. Their quarters, soft and warm and oh so bright.

But that’s not where he is. He’s cold and dark and as they enter a warmer room, dread coils in Ben’s belly as he looks up to meet the acid yellow eyes of another sith.

Hego Damask or as now Ben knows him, Darth Plageius.

The Muun meets them halfway through the dark room and Ben barely has time to see anything except a twisted red painting of a wailing man before the Muun had him by the chin and is tilting Ben’s head uncomfortably far up to meet the acid eyes with those thin fingers.

“And this is the thorn in our side, the one who turned your apprentice.” The man hissed out, eyes narrowed. “What a muted light you have master Jedi.” He offered, his voice almost softer then Maul’s even.

Ben stared up at him in turn, eyes watering a bit at the strain his neck and back was taking at the angle and hissed a bit when darkness almost lightly prodded at his damaged shields. “And such fragile shields your mind has too, it would almost be easy to smash them would it not.” The Muun continued.

He let go and Ben let his head drop, swallowing a bit before focusing back on the other sith again.

“So much has happened since you arrived, Master Ben Kenobi. Strangely enough, until your sudden arrival at the temple, there was no prior records of you anywhere.” The Muun continued and Ben felt more then he saw Palpatine shifted.

It was like being caught between two snakes, both ready to pounce.

And Ben was not sure which held the most danger to him.

Blocked from the Force, he had no warning as the Muun suddenly backhanded him, the smack loud through the air as the Force of it brought him down on his knees with a cry of pain as his knees took the brunt of the impact.

His cheek ached as numbing pain spread and he looked up, hands on floor to support himself as he stared up.

The Muun casually stepped back and sat down. “Well then fragile Jedi, lets play a game of who you really are…” One long fingered hand rose.

“What is your full name?”

Ben looked away and there was a little chuckle. “Come now, these are the easy questions…no? Oh well, you brought it on yourself.” The long fingers twitched and Ben gasped, his bound hands going for his throat as it closed in, depriving him of air.

For the first time in a long time, Ben Kenobi fears joining the Force. He is not ready anymore.


	30. I've had worse

“Ben love?”

Ben opened his eyes slowly, his head resting on the pillow of his bed as he looked up at Qui-Gon, the other mans gentle hand stroking his cheek with tender care, a soft smile on the other Jedi’s face.

“…I’m dreaming…aren’t I?” Ben whispered.

Qui-Gon smiled sadly and nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.” Ben leaned into the hand. “If this is my last view of you, then I’d have you smiling.” He whispered even as the other leaned closer.

“Don’t say that love, you have to come back home. You are not ready for the Force anymore and I am not ready to lose you yet.” Qui-Gon whispered as his hair fell like a curtain around their faces before gentle lips brushed the white haired Jedi’s own.

Ben was promptly shocked awake as ice cold water was poured on him, the Jedi gasping and sputtering in shock as he stared at the dark, blood stained and now wet floor he was laying on, his heart pounding away inside of him.

“Ah, you are still alive Jedi. Interesting. Lesser creatures hearts have stopped when I do that.” Damask is talking but Ben can’t quite look away from the blood on the floor.

“I am starting to tire of this game though.” Ben lifted his head slightly to finally look at the Muun again, his chest still heaving. “And your fragile shields aren’t really a match to me.” The Muun was staring at him, narrow eyed.

“We win nothing by dragging out the time now Master.” Palpatine offered from where he was standing by the door.

“Yes…all our careful planning and actions, wasted, all because of…this Jedi.” The Muun stood, eyes even narrower.

Ben blinked in return then cried out as it felt like molten lava was being poured through his mind, viciously ripping through the very fabric of what had so carefully glued him together. Viciously searching for the truth in who and what Ben really was.

And the blade passed through him, staring at the masked face of the man who had once been his padawan. So many lonely years on Tatooine. Setting up the Rebellion before leaving for its own safety so not to be connected to him and bring more of Vader’s fury down on them. Back further in his memories. Fighting Anakin on the lava shores of Mustafar. “I have the high ground!” Obi-Wan Kenobi dying among the flames and fires and pain as Ben Kenobi was born.

And the Muun pulled back, staring at Ben. “Time travel.”

Ben could barely breath, his hands pressed to his chest, tears as much as the water that had been poured on him streaking his face. He didn’t even notice Palpatine move to his master’s side, to busy clinging onto the little sanity he had preserved.

And then Damask was back, dragging Ben up on his knees by the messy braid. The Jedi hissed in pain, squinting up as he meet acid and rage filled yellow.

And back the sith went. “Show me MORE.”

The death of the Jedi order, the march on its temple, the desecration of it. Obi-Wan’s screams in the darkness where no one could hear him.

War, war crossing and raging all across the galaxy. Obi-Wan in the middle, fighting as hard as he could. Spirits flagging, Jedi’s dying, planets going dark and an ever growing darkness enclosing on the galaxy. And Palpatine like a puppet master at its helm.

Ben was dropped and he distantly became aware of a pain in his hand as the Sith Lord turned on his apprentice.

“Take him to his cell!”

Ben wasn’t sure who the Muun shouted at and he never learned if it was Palpatine or someone else because in that moment his consciousness faded away from the strain and the pain.

()()()

He woke to an almost blessed coolness against his face, back in his cell as his mind and stomach churned with pain.

Faintly Ben knew that the Sith had ripped through his mind as if it was flimsi but he couldn’t quite focus on anything except the occasional drift of snowflake that landed near him. And the pain that was becoming ever more real in his hand.

Ben blinked at that. Slowly, painfully, he shifted his hands to look at his palms.

In his left, there was a shard of metal, stuck into the palm of it, faintly oozing blood.

Faded green slowly sharpened as he stared at it. A thin shard of metal.

Slowly he got his fingers around it and pulled it out, ignoring the physical pain. The pain in his mind and soul was worse. He had felt worse pain on Rattatak

In the light from the window, the bloody piece of metal glittered between his fingers.

()()()

The bonds to Ben flashes to life suddenly.

Maul falls out of the Hall’s bed in shock even as Obi-Wan reaches to support the Zabrak.

Qui-Gon is already on his way out of the Halls, his long steps taking him to Mace and Yoda.

Ben is alive, they can feel Ben.

And then the bonds grow quiet again, Ben’s pain and fear echoing through them only faintly but still alive. Ben is hiding.

“Mace!”

“I know, we’re readying a ship.”

()()()

By the time someone returns to the iced cell, only the cuffs are left in the snow drifting in from an open window.

The Jedi Master is gone and with him, the secrets of the future.


	31. Ben this way

His feet sinks into the snow but Ben does not stop as he pulls his robes tighter around himself. He has to get away from the Sith and the base and if that means wading through the snow in his boots, then so be it.

But the cold is closing in on him and Ben struggles to keep walking through the aches and pains in his body.

‘Ben…this way.’

The white haired Jedi looked up, squinting out from under his hood at the snow covered landscape, the falling snow around obscuring his vision.

‘This way. Ben this way.’

The voice calling for him is soft, gentle, encouraging. It makes Ben follow it even as he dreads what he will find in the end, if he’s being tricked or if his cold mind is tricking him.

‘Not a trick. Safety. They won’t find you here.’

The mouth of a cave appears and Ben stares at it, shaking before he wades through the snow and inside it, shaking ever harder. He is so cold and numb that he can barely focus, yet his steps becomes easier once out of the snow as he steps into the dark cave.

‘Further in. Its warmer. Ben you have to go in further or you will freeze.’

And Ben walks in the dark, he walks what feels like hours but must only be minutes before there is a soft light.

He can walk no further as he slips down on his knees, looking around with his faded green eyes. “…It looks like the caves of Illum.” He whispered. “Are those…kyper crystals?” He blinked before leaning his back against the stone wall, tucking his robe more around himself as the Force resonated gently around him.

There was no answer to his question as the crystal glowed gently. For the first time since he was by Maul’s side, Ben feels peacefully warm, his head falling back against the stone wall and his eyes falling shut.

He slips into an exhausted meditation moments later as he reaches out for his Qui-Gon.

()()()

There’s a soft, fragile brush against his shields and Qui-Gon almost feels as if his legs are cut out from beneath him as he sits down in the extra chair of the ship. ‘Ben?’

“Qui-Gon?” Mace and Adi looked to him but the long haired master only waved his hand, focusing on his bond to Ben.

There was another soft brush and Qui-Gon tried not to be frustrated. He was to far away from where Ben was to be able to hear or feel him properly. “Ben’s reaching out but its faint. Wherever he is, he’s still to far from me.”

“Hultomo.” Mace reached out and brought up the information about it. “Its an icy, lifeless planet with two moons. We managed to trace Palpatine’s ship to it. Or we assume that is where Ben is also. If not its a lead to where the sith and he is.”

Qui-Gon rubbed his face at that. “No more leads, I just…I want to find my bondmate.”

“And we will Qui-Gon.” The long haired man looked up as Dooku rested a hand on his former padawan’s shoulder. “Though I do still wish you’d waited for me to be present at your bonding ceremony.”

Qui-Gon smiled tiredly at his former master. “You were far into Wild space master, and I didn’t want to wait to…”

“Rushed.” Yan clicked his tongue before looking to the information on the console. “Hultomo…its a good thing we’ve packed winter gear.”

“And brought a healer with us. Force knows what condition we and Ben are going to be in.” Adi sighed, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I still say we should have brought Maul with us, his bond to Be-”

“No. Maul is a padawan regardless of his skills with a saber and he is still injured.” Qui-Gon objected. “Ben would not want him anywhere near another sith after that. There is a reason why I made Obi-Wan remain behind too.”

“I agree with Qui-Gon. No padawans.” Dooku rumbled.

“…Are we enough though?” Adi asked softly, looking around.

“We should be.” Master Tholme murmured. “Seven masters should be enough. All of us are skilled with battle.” He nodded to Depa. “Even our youngest.”

Yaddle hummed from where she was meditating beside Depa. “Darkness we are heading towards, perhaps end a sith threat we can but doubtful I am.”

“Being bluntly honest, all I can think about is getting Ben away and safe.” Qui-Gon rubbed his face. “And its not only because of my bond to him but consider this, his knowledge of the future.” He glanced at the others to forestall any arguments that Ben’s rescue was the more important mission.

“If his knowledge falls into the wrong hands, it will doom the future, regardless of how much he has changed it. It can still be used by someone knowledgeable and cunning.”

“Qui-Gon is right, getting Ben to safety is our primary goal though the destruction of the Sith are also a worthy task.” Mace offered as they dropped out of hyperdrive above the planet. Adi instantly had the ship scanning the surface, a small frown on her face as she did.

“There is a few settlements, isolated pockets that should not be there.” She murmured softly.

‘Qui-Gon?’ Came a weak voice and he instantly closed his eyes to listen.

‘Ben, Ben are you alright?’

There was a short, stuttering silence as the others talked around Qui-Gon. ‘No…I’m very cold Qui. And my mind is a mess, he ripped through my shields. Will you come find me?’

‘Of course my Ben. Do you know where you are?’ Qui-Gon took several calming breaths, releasing his tension into the Force.

‘I’m not sure. I think…I think I got away Qui-Gon. I think I’m hiding but I’m not sure…come find me?’

Qui-Gon snapped his eyes opened. “Ben is no longer with the Sith. He’s not sure where he is but he seems to have escaped their grasp.” He announced, his voice cutting through the others talk.

“Then split up we shall. Find Ben you will.” Yaddle stood, brushing of her tunics.

“What if the siths are looking for him too?” Mace frowned.

“I will go with Qui-Gon.” Yan decided. “We worked together as a team for many years, should we encounter them, we can cover each other.”

“…I don’t like this.” The Korun sighed.

“He’s cold Mace. He says the sith ripped through his shields.” Qui-Gon got up to go ready the winter gear. “He’s not in good shape, I can tell you this much right now.” He packed in extra blankets and the spare set of clothes he had pulled from Ben’s part of the closet just in case.

The Korun closed his eyes before sighing and nodding. “Alright, we split up.”


	32. Dooku is a bit miffed they didn't wait

Yaddle grumbled, carefully pushing the upper half of the sith onto its back so they could see its face. “It seems there’s one less Sith in the galaxy now.”

“I would be more happy if it was the master honestly.” Mace grumbled, staring down at the mutilated corpse of Palpatine cut in half.

“From what I can tell from this room…” Tholme looked around. “It seems the siths started to fight. I can only speculate on what but it involved quite a bit of Force power until lightsabers were drawn and Palpatine was sheered in half.”

“I think we can guess. Damask still needed him, cutting him in half doesn’t make sense unless he’s discovered some kind of treachery.” Depa offered quietly before stopping at a small puddle of blood. “…Does Palpatine have any bleeding injuries?”

“Hmm? No, the lightsaber cauterized everything, he doesn’t have anything that could have bleed from what I can tell. Why?”

“Because there’s a small puddle of red blood here.”

Mace closed his eyes. “…Ben.”

()()()

It was confusing.

Qui-Gon could feel Ben, could hear him if only faintly since Ben seemed to have gone unconscious. But he couldn’t quite pinpoint him at the same time despite feeling his bondmate.

“Qui-Gon, you need to calm down, I can feel your emotions from here.” Yan murmured.

“…I’m sorry. I just…its cold. He doesn’t have winter gear. He’s already been gone for close to two weeks in sith captivity.” Qui-Gon tugged his scarf down enough to rub his face before tugging it back up. “I worry.”

“This is attachment Qui-Gon.”

“We’re bonded. I think I made my attachment to Ben pretty clear the moment I asked him. And things are changing my old master, attachment…the order… surely you’ve felt the Force become lighter.”

“I won’t deny that. The Force on Coruscant especially.” Dooku sighed. “Is this the path then?”

“Its not a Schisme. It can’t be. Its to peaceful. But it is change.” Qui-Gon murmured. “Its slow and methodical and it started with Ben arriving. Ben is not the driving point behind it though, yes he talks to people but he doesn’t force them to change anything. If anything the driving force behind it is our young. Obi-Wan speaks a lot to his fellow padawans.”

“From what you say, Obi-Wan and Ben are…”

“No. They aren’t the same. Not anymore. Whatever past Ben had won’t be Obi-Wan’s future. Ben has already confirmed that things have changed when he has his clearer moments. He says that Obi-Wan is not how he was at that age. That Obi-Wan is different. The future feels brighter and that is what we should care about. That we Jedi uphold justice and peace as needed.”

Qui-Gon sighed and looked around. “I’m living in the moment master. And the moment tells me that I need to find Ben or Ben will freeze to death.”

“You know your bondmate best. While he seems to have failing mental faculties, he is still a Jedi, he would have sought refuge would he not?” Yan looked around, pulling out scanning equipment from the bag of his speeder.

“Refuge…yes, he would have sought somewhere to hide from the elements. Somewhere he didn’t think a Sith would look for him.”

“Like a cave?”

Qui-Gon turned to his old master to see what the other had found on the scanners. “…Like a cave.”

()()()

It was only a show of will that kept him from running to Ben the moment he saw the shape curled up against the wall of the cave. He did however ignore the sparkling crystals as he dropped down and pushed the others hood back.

“Ben?” He reached down, ignoring the copper strands mingled into the snow white as he tipped the others head up.

“Mmn…Qui?” A raspy voice murmured and Ben opened his faded green to meet his blue. “Qui-Gon.” He smiled, breaking open the split in his lip.

Qui-Gon breathed out then shifted closer, stroking the others cold scraggy cheek. “Yes. Yes I’m here, I got you Ben. We’re going to head home now.” He slid his arms around the other and forewent the song and dance of Ben being able to walk, picking up the icy man instead bridal style.

“Yan, I got him. He’s safe.”

“Good, we need to get back to the speeders then.” Yan looked around the cave, frowning a bit. “These almost feel like kyber crystals.”

“We can come back if they are. Right now I just want to get Ben to the healer.” He felt the other drop his head against his shoulder and swallowed heavily, feeling pain yet comfort radiating of the man in his arms.

‘I’m alright Qui-Gon.’

‘No you aren’t. You’re very injured my Ben even if you can’t feel it. The cold has you numbed.’

Qui-Gon started walking quickly. “We’re going home Ben.”

()()()

“What do you mean he’s younger?” Qui-Gon stared at the healer.

“Just what I said. Physically his body seems younger, physically we can see he looks younger. His mind is…well I don’t honestly know, if the sith really shattered his shields we can expect him to be even worse then before but physically he is better once he’s finished healing.”

Mace frowned, glancing at Ben, taking in the copper strands in the mans hair and beard and the removal of several lines around the mans eyes. “Is this good or bad?”

“Physically, it can only be a good thing, it would help him recover. Its the origin of this youth I worry about. Healer Che might do better with this then I but as far as I can tell, Master Kenobi is at least around five to ten years younger physically then he was.”

“Other then that, how is Ben?” Depa asked.

“Well…” The young healer shifted a bit before sighing. “He’s gone through a massive trauma with having his shields ripped, he’s going to need a mind healer to help him build those and the help of his bondmate.” She nodded to Qui-Gon who nodded in return as he held Ben’s hand in his as the man rested in the hoverbed. “Other then that he has minor physical injuries if one looks away from his broken knee and split lip, physically it seems the Sith has not been torturing him, only mentally.” She blew air out her nose. “However he’s been deprived of food, water and his usual medicine which has once again put him back in anemic and malnutrition state along with dehydration. The cold has been wrecking havoc on his arthritis and…well he’s lost two toes on his left foot from the cold exposure. Honestly if he’s walked through the snow and ice for as far as I think, then he’s lucky only to lose two toes.” She finished.

Qui-Gon breathed out then nodded. “It could…could have been so much worse.” He murmured, squeezing Ben’s hand in his, feeling the warmth slowly returning to the others hand.

“Healer Che will be able to do more about his knee. And Healer Mirana might be able to help him with the torn shields.”


	33. They're for balance

“…Ben…”

“Shh…this is strange.” Ben continued wiggling the robotic toes. They had no sensation and Ben couldn’t quite understand why he was given robotic toes.

“Ben, they’re for your balance. Ben please let me put socks on you before Maul and Obi-Wan arrives.” Qui-Gon smiled a bit at his bondmate, sitting on the end of the others bed.

“Oh, fine…wait they’re coming?” The other looked at him, blinking.

“Yes. I told you so five times.” Qui-Gon explained patiently while pulling the socks on the others bared feet.

“You…You did?” Ben looked uncertain, scrunching his face in thought.

“Love, you remember the sith ripped through your shields?” Ben shiver was enough answer. “Yes, that’s making your memory harder to control, your short term memory is…shoddier then it was.” Qui-Gon squeezed the ankle then slid up to wrap the other in his arms. “But we’ll fix that as good as we can.”

“…What if it can’t be?” Ben questioned quietly.

“Then I’ll be here to look after you Ben. So will Quinlan and Maul.” He stroked the others hair, marveling at the copper strands. The best explanation Healer Che could figure out was that Ben’s refuge near the Force sensitive crystals had in a manner turned the clock backwards on the mans body.

Or perhaps a form for Forced blessed miracle.

Regardless, his Ben now looked the age he was naturally. Not that it mattered to Qui-Gon, he could enjoy the sight of course but he’d rather his Ben was as mentally sound as he could be then have the physical clock turned back.

He stroked the others hair slowly and steadily, listening to Ben hum against his shoulder and collarbone.

“…Kissing would be easier now.” Ben suddenly piped up.

“Hmm?” Qui-Gon blinked.

“Its easier to stand on my toes now. Instead of always pulling you down.” Ben tilted his head to smile at him, nuzzling in closer.

“I guess so my dear.” The other chuckled softly, stroking the others cheek. “I didn’t mind to much though.” Ben hummed then tugged the other into a small kiss, smiling against Qui-Gon’s lips as he melted against the other.

They pulled away when the doors opened though and Ben gave a sweet smile to the two padawans standing there.

Maul moved quickly to his master’s side and wrapped the other in a hug.

“Ma-ouf! Padawan, I’m fine.”

“You’re lying.” Maul muttered and settled his head on the other mans shoulder. “But that’s fine. You’re back. You’re here. You CAN be fine.” He nuzzled into the others shoulder and Ben petted soothingly between the Zabrak’s horns.”

“Hmm…yes…I was thinking, could we have honey meat for dinner today?” Ben tilted his head to look at Qui-Gon, face open and curious.

“We can if the healers clear it with your current diet after your capture. If they let you come back to our quarters that is.” Ben blinked at him in confusion and Qui-Gon just smiled, taking his hand. “We’ll see Ben. We’ll see.”


	34. It may have been Quinlan

“How is he?”

“He loses trail of thought even more then before. If you don’t remind him, he forgets to eat and drink. He sleeps more then before and sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night and thinks he’s on Tatooine. Or worse.”

“Worse?”

“Don’t…don’t ask Mace.”

The two looked over to where Ben was sitting with Quinlan, the younger knight enthusiastically talking about his last mission while Ben rested his head on the others shoulder, smiling ever so slightly.

“He looks alright at the moment.”

“This is one of his better moments. I think its because he’s in constant contact with Maul through their padawan bond and with me.”

“Where is padawan Maul?”

“Getting a few tattoos, he finally decided on the designs he wanted and Obi-Wan went with him as moral support.” The older man sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Mace, I don’t know what to do. I want to help him but I don’t know how.”

“What do the mindhealers suggest?”

“Healer Mirana says we need to build his shields, that once his shields are as stable as we can get them, the influence the sith had on his mind will lessen and we can heal the cracks but we shouldn’t expect him to get better then he was.” Qui-Gon rubbed his face and looked up when he felt worry creep along his bond, smiling to Ben when he saw the other looking at him with a small frown on his face.

When Qui-Gon smiled at him the frown evaporated though and Ben took his cane, carefully getting up and limping towards them with Quinlan following quickly. Qui-Gon lifted his arm without question, letting his bondmate curl against his side like a cat, soaking in comfort and warmth.

“Ellu Mace.” Ben smiled from the taller master’s side, looking content with his faded green eyes as they focused on the Korun for a few moments.

“Ben. I see you’re walking better.”

“Hmm? Oh, yes.” Ben looked at his cane, a puzzled look on his face for a few moments before looking at Mace again. “Yes I…did I break my leg on a mission again?” He blinked before frowning and looking at Qui-Gon. “No…no…”

They didn’t interrupt Ben’s thought process as the other started to squint, thinking hard.

“…Not…Tatooine…” Ben mumbled, rubbing his chin. “Ah, the sith.” He snapped his fingers together and looked up at Qui-Gon who nodded.

“Well done Ben.” He pressed a soft kiss to the others temple. “Healer Mirana will be happy to hear you’ve been putting things together on your own.” He smiled while tightening his arm around the others shoulders.

Ben preened a bit at the praise then looked at Quinlan. “I left you in the middle of a conversation…”

“Its fine Ben.” Quinlan smiled in return, resting a gentle hand on the others arm. “I’m just glad you’re back. Beside,” He put on a crooked grin. “I can drop by later for dinner, Maul told me he and Obi-Wan were making something special.” He winked and gave Qui-Gon and Mace a small bow before he headed off.

The older men watched Quinlan go.

“I think Obi-Wan lost his virginity to Quinlan.” Ben suddenly offered.

“…What?” Qui-Gon frog croaked.

“Well I did at least. Or my Quinlan. Or…hmm…how did that work again…” Ben looked down at his feet, blinking a bit. Mace shrugged at Qui-Gon’s wide eyed look.

“Qui-Gon are you alright?” The older man closed his eyes before tugging Ben closer, caressing his side gently with his hand. “Yes, just…well sometimes you say thing that surprise us. That’s all.” He assured quietly.

“Oh…is that…bad?”

“Not really. It just sometimes takes me a few moments to absorb what you say love.”

“Ooooh.”


	35. It was Quinlan!

Something special turned out to be a Stewjon dish that contained fluffy bread, tender meatbits and carefully steamed butter vegetables, all approved for Ben’s diet. The man in question rested his head on Qui-Gon’s shoulder, humming quietly at the slowly mental touches against his shields.

“Ello~” Quinlan offered as he wandered into the room, grinning at everyone. “I brought dessert, and before anyone worries, its diet approved.” He held up a bowl. “Milk pudding.”

“Ah, calcium.” Qui-Gon nodded. “Put it in the fridge in the meantime would you?”

With a jaunty salute, Quinlan did so, nodding happily to Maul and Obi-Wan. “I like the tattoos Maul, gives you more of an expression.”

The Zabrak raised one finely tattooed eyebrow at him then smirked a bit, drawing attention to the little square down his chin. “Some of the creche children said my face looked rather empty with nothing. And since I’m no longer sith or part of my home planets clan…I made my own marks.” He shrugged

“I like them.” Obi-Wan offered, leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to the others cheek. “They suit you.”

“You look like you have a tiny chin goatee.” Quinlan mused and Maul frowned a bit.

“Its the flip of hair some humans grow on the chin.” Obi-Wan offered the other, rubbing his own fingers over his clefted chin while the other nodded in understanding at that.

Ben opened his faded greens to glance at them, humming a bit.

“…So did you sleep with Quinlan, Obi-Wan or was that just me who lost my virginity with him?” He suddenly asked outloud.

Obi-Wan dropped his spatula in shock as the Kiffar threw his head back and roared with laughter. “Ben!” The copper haired padawan stared wide eyed at him before glancing at Maul in embarrassment and then firmly hitting Quinlan in the shoulder.

“Oh, I’m not suppose to ask that am I?” Ben blinked then looked at Qui-Gon who only shook his head with a small smile.

Maul sniggered a bit as he started to fill plates with steamed vegetables and fluffy bread, making sure there were more vegetables then bread on his master’s plate. “We all have to start somewhere.” He offered evenly, not even the slightest bit disturbed.

“We lost our virginity together.” Quinlan offered cheerfully as he moved to help carry plates to the table when Obi-Wan filled them with meat. “It was messy, awkward and I think we didn’t use enough lube.”

The older man grimaced at that. “Sounds about right.”

“Enough of this talk please.” Qui-Gon chuckled. “Terrible sexual experience are not dinner time topics.”

“Or ever.” Obi-Wan agreed as he settled down next to Maul for dinner, his face as red as Maul’s skin color.

“It wasn’t that terrible. Me and my Quinlan could look back and laugh about it.” Ben mused quietly then smiled a bit. “We didn’t repeat it of course but it was nice to be able to look back on it during the war and have something to laugh about.” He offered pleasantly before eagerly tucking into the food, going for the vegetables first.

The older master pressed a soft kiss to his temple then focused on his meal. “Well, now you’re here to make new pleasant memories without any war around you.” He murmured, Ben agreeing with a small hum.

Sneakily as he can, Maul loads a few more vegetables onto Ben’s plate and steals a few meatbits from Obi-Wan, grinning at his boyfriend when the other bats at him with his fork.

Quinlan laughs and sprays a few bread crumbs on the table that makes Qui-Gon roll his eyes at the younger men.

Ben just quietly observes them, a bit of light filling his eyes, his shields strengthening just a bit as love seemed to wrap around the room and him.


	36. I survived

Waking slowly, Ben stared at the sunbeam on the floor with a content expression on his face, feeling warmth against his back and tight arms around his waist. To content and warm to make a fuss, Ben remained laying in bed as the sunbeam slowly moved along the floor before he reached down and carefully squeezed his bondmates wrist.

Qui-Gon gave a mumble but his grip eased, allowing Ben to slowly slip out of it.

The younger Jedi reached for his cane and carefully levered himself onto his feet, slowly making his way to the fresher where he cleaned his face, groomed his hair and beard and then got dressed. It was…invigorating to manage these task on his own and Ben looked to his feet to make sure he was wearing socks, beaming to himself.

Easing his way back into the bedroom, he made his way back to the bed and sat down on the bedside, giving Qui-Gon a soft kiss to the forehead.

“Mmmn…Ben?” Qui-Gon yawned, peering up at the other man.

“Morning sleepyhead…what do you want for breakfast?” Ben smiled.

“Mmmn, oatmeal sounds good and fruits…are you sure you’re up to making it though?” Qui-Gon sat up slowly, covers falling down around his waist as he brushed Ben’s cheek with the back of his fingers.

“I feel like its a good morning. You have to trust me occasionally to try.” The other murmured softly, nuzzling the hands before sitting still so Qui-Gon could set his hair in a nerf tail.

“True. I worry, you know that but you are doing a bit better.” The older man rumbled before leaning in and kissing his cheek. “Alright, I’ll take my time in the fresher while you make breakfast.”

“Thank you Qui-Gon.” Ben smiled, grasping his cane again and pulling himself up, hobbling towards the doors.

He almost tripped over a soft toy by the couch and carefully rolled it out of the way with an amused noise. “I see someones been active during the night.” He peeked around the room and then laughed softly when he finally saw the three legged ash rabbit snoozing by the window.

“There you are Luke…”

Qui-Gon had found the little purple thing in the lower levels of Coruscant, one leg utterly destroyed and had taken the little lifeform with him back to the temple. Ben had fully melted for it and perhaps that was why he had been allowed to keep it, since the ash rabbit gave him a sense of purpose.

Between Luke, Qui-Gon, Maul and his tea plants, he was starting to recover more. Mace was even talking about perhaps allowing Ben back in the creche for story time. Now that was something Ben was looking forward to.

“Right, breakfast.” Ben reminded himself, limping into the room and pulling out grain, pots, water and kettle.

Slowly he had the oatmeal bubbling on the stove along with the kettle for tea as he started to peel and cut up fruit, humming quietly to himself.

It was strange…

He felt like pieces were falling slowly into place, as if the galaxy he knew no longer existed because… there was no war. Not here.

He stilled, staring at the half peeled fruit in his hands while blinking heavily. He was…safe?

“Oh…” He whispered.

How long he stood there he had no idea, only that he came back to himself when Qui-Gon slid his arms around his waist. “Ben?” He questioned softly, his worry softly brushing against their bond and against Ben’s mind. “Are you here with me?” He questioned again.

“Yes…I just…realized something.” Ben shifted enough to look up at the other man, smiling faintly.

“Oh?” Qui-Gon gently caressed the others sides with his hands, rubbing slowly as he absently heard the sounds of their padawans waking and getting ready for the day. “What was that?”

“That I’m alive.” Ben shifted around slowly, hands sticky from fruit juice as he reached up and brushed Qui-Gon’s clean face and beard with them, smiling up at him as he did. “I’m alive, I’m safe, I won’t die in a pointless war or alone in some hut on Tatooine. I’m…loved.” He gave a little almost breathless laugh as he stared up at his bondmate. “With you.”

Qui-Gon blinked then leaned down, pressing his lips to Ben’s.

‘You are safe, you are loved and you are here with me my Ben. My wonderful Ben.’ He confirmed for the other, arms wrapping tighter around him.

‘My Qui-Gon. My stubborn, maverick, beautiful Qui-Gon.’ Ben melted against him, standing on his toes despite the ache as he wrapped his arms around the others neck.

He was safe.


	37. Ben plays matchmaker

“You’ll have to forgive Obi-Wan.” Maul snapped his eyes open to stare at his smiling master, the older man sitting on the bench with his hands on his lap, the sun of Coruscant shining down on them in the meditation garden.

To Maul’s eternal relief, the older man had gained back the weight the sith captivity had lost him and his color had returned along with some mental stability provided with contact with both himself and Master Qui-Gon.

“Master?” He questioned lightly.

“Obi-Wan, you’ll have to forgive him not understanding the mating part of you.” Ben wiggled his fingers slightly and tilted his head. “He’s well versed in cultures and taboos but the mating part isn’t really something one is educated in.” He hummed.

Maul hesitated before reaching out and taking his master’s hands, rubbing them. “I don’t mind. I honestly don’t understand the instincts myself all the time.” He quietly confessed. As a sith, his Dathomirian heritage was not something he had been free to explore.

Every instinct and desire based on his race was usually shoved away under the sith part his master wanted to instill in him.

Now though…now Ben encouraged him, told him to explore, to be himself while controlling his emotions lest they get the better of him.

“They tell you that you have a potential mate, one who likes to tease. They tell you he should submit but you’re not sure how that works.” He snapped his eyes to stare at Ben in confusion before coloring in mortification. “Yes you do need to work a bit on your shielding when you’re around Obi-Wan. I try not to hear to much.” Ben laughed quietly.

“Master, I am so sorr-”

“Don’t.” Ben caressed his hands gently, smiling at him with his faded green eyes. “I can build my shields now. Its good work, helps me concentrate when I block out your…baser needs.” He chuckled. The padawan grimaced and Ben gave the silka bead braid a little tug of affection after freeing one hand. “Really, I am still a Jedi master Maul. I understand.”

“I…” Maul hesitated then shifted until he could settle his arms on the others knees, settling his chin on his arms. “I don’t know what to do Master.” He murmured quietly, peering up at the other man while the human settled his hands on the others scalp, gently rubbing between the horns. “I have no reference for this and what my instincts tell me can’t…can’t be right.” He wrinkled his nose a bit.

“What do your instinct tell you?” Ben questioned lightly, his faded greens open.

“…They tell me that my mate is soft and pink and should be protected. That he should submit to me. That I should make sure he’s only mine and that he knows his place.” Maul let out a frustrated breath.

“They want you to assert your dominance.” There was an understanding noise and Maul was never more grateful then at that moment for the judgment free tone of his master’s voice and then soothing hands caressing his scalp.

“Yes. And that can’t be right.” Maul rumbled in frustration, containing the snarl that wanted to escape his throat. “Obi-Wan wouldn’t want that.”

“You can assume that of course. Or you could go speak to him about it. Regardless, this is a part of you, of your heritage, of your nature as a Zabrak and as a Dathomirian. It won’t just fade away like rain for the sunrays.” Ben hummed.

“What if I scare him away…?” Maul whispered. He liked Obi-Wan, he liked Obi-Wan a lot, he could imagine, one day far into the future that he got bonded to the other man in their thirties or something.

“Then he’s not the right one. But Maul, all relationships are built on communication. The things that upsets and pleases has to be spoken about to be known to each other. What makes you happy, what makes you sad and what makes you angry. The same goes for him.” The older man offered softly.

“Is that what you and Master Qui-Gon does?” Maul raised his tattooed brows.

“Of course. We aren’t vocal about it because we speak about the sensitive nature of our relationship through our bond. I relay my wishes to him and he returns the same favor to me. We respect each others boundaries and talk about the things that makes us happy and upset.”

The Zabrak mulled over that as Ben started rubbing down the back of his neck, massaging lightly with clever fingers that always did their best to make Maul relax and feel at ease.

“I need to talk to Obi-Wan about…about my instincts, don’t I?” He finally murmured, eyes half closed from contentedness.

“Very much so.” Ben gave a little tug on an earlobe, smiling down at him. “I’ll take Qui-Gon with me somewhere, grant you two privacy to talk and decide.”

Maul could do nothing but smile gratefully up at his master, he didn’t want an audience to his and Obi-Wan’s conversation.

()()()

“So…what you’re saying is you want my…submission?” Obi-Wan blinked, staring at Maul who was sitting on the other side of the couch. The Zabrak awkwardly tugged on the silka braid.

“I think so. Or that’s what my instincts want. I understand if that’s not something you want though, its odd enough for me to understand them, much less demand you to align to them.” Maul stared at the coffee table, avoiding looking at Obi-Wan to see the others disgust. It was the last thing he wanted to see.

A soft, callused hand took his red one and squeezed before the free hand cupped the others chin and made him look at his human…boyfriend? Mate? Friend?

Obi-Wan was smiling though. “I won’t say that the idea of submission makes me itch for it…but…it doesn’t make me want to run screaming for the hills either.”

“And what does that mean?” Maul clung to the hand, staring at the other.

“That I’m willing to try. That I like you a lot and that I’m willing to at least try. If it doesn’t work then…that’s it. It doesn’t. But we remain friends, that was the original deal. Regardless what.” Obi-Wan offered seriously before leaning in and giving him a sweet peck on the lips.

Maul could have melted from the relief coursing through his body like a raging river.

He couldn’t help but reach out and wrap his arms tightly around the other, the kiss slowly turning open mouthed and hungry as he pressed the other back into the couch pillows. Obi-Wan hummed into the kiss, wrapping his arms around the others shoulders while melting.

That got a pleased purr that started low in Maul’s chest and escaped his throat soundly.

They jerked away from each other, both blinking at each other before they laughed, Maul faintly embrassed and Obi-Wan delighted.

“I had no idea you could purr.”

“I didn’t know either.” Maul confessed sheepishly.

“Do it again?” Obi-Wan requested hopefully before tugging the other back into a softer kiss, his hands lightly curled into the back of Maul’s cream tunics.

Softly a pleased purr echoed through the apartment as the two explored territory that with time would become familiar between the two.


End file.
